This is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I am surviving.
Haven't posted in a while, didn't feel like I had anything new to say, until now.
I have transitioned into my maintenance fat class and I find it very helpful. My goal from now until the end of the year is not to gain back any of the 70 lbs. I've lost to date. Still want to lose another 30 lbs. or so but for now I am just trying to maintain.
I made it through the actual Thanksgiving meal by choosing to limit my plate selection to only 4-5 items vs. the 10 items available.
Appetizers on the other hand were a little harder for me and my nephew did make cheese dip...MAJOR weakness. Didn't go crazy but damn did it taste good.
Couldn't drink too much (even though there was family involved) because I had to drive us home, probably a good thing because I did make some better choices as a result. No desserts for me, since I have been eating less I really was very full and the thought of eating more didn't appeal to me...this time anyway.
With weeks to go to get through the holidays I am still just taking this part of my life one day at a time. I have work and personal events to attend in the next few weeks, I guess we will see how I do, I'll keep you updated.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
MLWF Day 190
This is the one hundred ninetieth day in my life without food.
OK, so you've probably figured out by now that I am back on the food. In fact after spending a week in NYC on vacation I only gained 1.7 lbs, a record low from my previous vacations. We walked at least a couple of miles every day. One day we hit almost 8 miles and my reward, I got to eat food instead of drinking it.
I am officially moving from eating no food to being on the maintenance program. I will still be attending fat class weekly, I am not to my goal yet but I will keep working on it. I am 70 lbs. lighter than I was 190 days ago and I am NOT going backwards.
I have learned so much on this program but the bottom line is you will gain and lose weight in life and for me the real trick will be not letting things get out of hand. I love to cook and eat too much not to have food in my life but when I am not cooking and entertaining I will probably still eat porridge and drink protein shakes just to keep some balance or lose weight.
The support I have had during this process has been amazing. My husband has been so supportive and never complained when I did not cook for him or go out to dinner or have friends over, I am very lucky.
I am thinking of winding this blog down but never fear I will probably start another one. It's been really good for me to be able to vent to you, I think it's really made a difference in my weight loss.
Eat in moderation, hum, I never thought I would use those words together.
I am working on a new blog that I will call "Boone with a View!", look for it soon.
OK, so you've probably figured out by now that I am back on the food. In fact after spending a week in NYC on vacation I only gained 1.7 lbs, a record low from my previous vacations. We walked at least a couple of miles every day. One day we hit almost 8 miles and my reward, I got to eat food instead of drinking it.
I am officially moving from eating no food to being on the maintenance program. I will still be attending fat class weekly, I am not to my goal yet but I will keep working on it. I am 70 lbs. lighter than I was 190 days ago and I am NOT going backwards.
I have learned so much on this program but the bottom line is you will gain and lose weight in life and for me the real trick will be not letting things get out of hand. I love to cook and eat too much not to have food in my life but when I am not cooking and entertaining I will probably still eat porridge and drink protein shakes just to keep some balance or lose weight.
The support I have had during this process has been amazing. My husband has been so supportive and never complained when I did not cook for him or go out to dinner or have friends over, I am very lucky.
I am thinking of winding this blog down but never fear I will probably start another one. It's been really good for me to be able to vent to you, I think it's really made a difference in my weight loss.
Eat in moderation, hum, I never thought I would use those words together.
I am working on a new blog that I will call "Boone with a View!", look for it soon.
Friday, September 24, 2010
MLWF Day 164
This is the one hundred sixty forth day in my life without food.
Excellent, I just realized I can't count either, it's just been 164 days it just seems like it's been over 200.
Just got back to my desk from heating up my porridge. Walked past a skinny dude in my office and he is eating a hot dog from 7 Eleven with chili and cheese for lunch. I'm eating porridge and I probably just gained weight just walking past his hot dog and looking at it.
Keeping better records this week but still not being a saint. I am simply doing the best I can and that is all I can do.
Just found out at work that I have to fly with a client on the San Francisco 49ers team plane next weekend to Atlanta. Are you kidding me? I've only had the honor of this trip once before but there is so much food on that plane it's like a cruise ship with wings. Multiple meals, snacks, candy bars and oh don't for get the ice cream sundae cart. At least there is no booze on the flight, I am more inclined to make better decisions without booze around.
The weekend is here again and I plan on working out, playing with my puppies and staying out of trouble, within reason that is. I need a bigger weight loss this week in fat class, that would help. I better work on that.
Excellent, I just realized I can't count either, it's just been 164 days it just seems like it's been over 200.
Just got back to my desk from heating up my porridge. Walked past a skinny dude in my office and he is eating a hot dog from 7 Eleven with chili and cheese for lunch. I'm eating porridge and I probably just gained weight just walking past his hot dog and looking at it.
Keeping better records this week but still not being a saint. I am simply doing the best I can and that is all I can do.
Just found out at work that I have to fly with a client on the San Francisco 49ers team plane next weekend to Atlanta. Are you kidding me? I've only had the honor of this trip once before but there is so much food on that plane it's like a cruise ship with wings. Multiple meals, snacks, candy bars and oh don't for get the ice cream sundae cart. At least there is no booze on the flight, I am more inclined to make better decisions without booze around.
The weekend is here again and I plan on working out, playing with my puppies and staying out of trouble, within reason that is. I need a bigger weight loss this week in fat class, that would help. I better work on that.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
MLWF Day 162
This is the one hundred sixty second in my life without food.
OK, I may have to change the name of this blog soon, I am eating a little but so much less than I was before and it is still paying off.
Went to fat class last night and I lost a little over 1 lb. Slowly but surely I am losing the weight but I decided while sitting there listening to the fat guru that I needed to re-focus and just get the rest of this weight loss over with. This morning I starting entering my calories into my iPhone again. It's a small step but it helps me keep it all front of mind.
In class last night we did a Cost/Benefit analysis of losing weight or not losing weight. My comment was that it was easier not to lose weight because there was no effort involved and in fact I called in "mindless living". Very common in the South, if you don't think about something bad it will go away, well it doesn't.
Losing weight is work and it's hard work. Eating and drinking anything I want not so hard. But, given the health alternatives I know I am doing the right thing for me.
I have tremendous support, I am so lucky. Forward I go!
OK, I may have to change the name of this blog soon, I am eating a little but so much less than I was before and it is still paying off.
Went to fat class last night and I lost a little over 1 lb. Slowly but surely I am losing the weight but I decided while sitting there listening to the fat guru that I needed to re-focus and just get the rest of this weight loss over with. This morning I starting entering my calories into my iPhone again. It's a small step but it helps me keep it all front of mind.
In class last night we did a Cost/Benefit analysis of losing weight or not losing weight. My comment was that it was easier not to lose weight because there was no effort involved and in fact I called in "mindless living". Very common in the South, if you don't think about something bad it will go away, well it doesn't.
Losing weight is work and it's hard work. Eating and drinking anything I want not so hard. But, given the health alternatives I know I am doing the right thing for me.
I have tremendous support, I am so lucky. Forward I go!
Monday, September 20, 2010
MLWF Week 23
This is the twenty third week in my life without food.
I know I've been away from the blog for the past few weeks but never very far from the "project". I have been assessing what to do during the last phase of this process and I feel pretty good about where I am. I am not finished but I am certainly in a better place than I was on April 13th.
I am approaching food using a much more realistic view these days, I know what I should and should not eat but I have determined I can eat anything but if I eat something on the "should not" list something else has to go. It sounds simple and I know it's all about balance but I have never been good at that but it feels different this time. I am taking a much more realistic approach and most importantly, I am not beating myself up should I fall of the food wagon.
I had a great one on one meeting with my fat class therapist this past week. He is helping my decide the what next phase of my plan will look like. Starting in October I am moving into what they call the maintenance phase of the "project" even though I have some additional weight to lose. I will still be attending the same class and basically doing all the same things, just beginning the process of bringing eating food back into my life.
Every since my doctor told me he wanted me to lose another 30 lbs. or so I have been fixated on that number and have forgotten my original goal of getting my waist size below 40 inches. Must refocus, must move forward, must keep going. You would think that after 5 months of working on this project it would get easier, well is doesn't, not from my perspective anyway. I will get there because I know I can and because I have all the support I need. I am a very lucky man.
I know I've been away from the blog for the past few weeks but never very far from the "project". I have been assessing what to do during the last phase of this process and I feel pretty good about where I am. I am not finished but I am certainly in a better place than I was on April 13th.
I am approaching food using a much more realistic view these days, I know what I should and should not eat but I have determined I can eat anything but if I eat something on the "should not" list something else has to go. It sounds simple and I know it's all about balance but I have never been good at that but it feels different this time. I am taking a much more realistic approach and most importantly, I am not beating myself up should I fall of the food wagon.
I had a great one on one meeting with my fat class therapist this past week. He is helping my decide the what next phase of my plan will look like. Starting in October I am moving into what they call the maintenance phase of the "project" even though I have some additional weight to lose. I will still be attending the same class and basically doing all the same things, just beginning the process of bringing eating food back into my life.
Every since my doctor told me he wanted me to lose another 30 lbs. or so I have been fixated on that number and have forgotten my original goal of getting my waist size below 40 inches. Must refocus, must move forward, must keep going. You would think that after 5 months of working on this project it would get easier, well is doesn't, not from my perspective anyway. I will get there because I know I can and because I have all the support I need. I am a very lucky man.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
MLWF Week 20
This is the twentieth week in my life without food.
Jumped on the scale last night (what a visual) and I had lost a pound. Down is still better than up but it's really slowed down and I have to fight every thought about giving up, something I am not going to do anyway.
Last night in fat class we looked a food labels which believe it or not I always look at when I am grocery shopping. We were told to focus on two things mostly on those labels, calories per serving and number of servings in the package. The assumption is that maybe not at one sitting but you will probably eat the entire package of what ever it is. A serving size is 18 pretzels, 14 crackers, 1 oz of cheese, half a coke, really, those packaging experts really do a number on us people with weight issues and that is part of the plan. I have to be the watchdog for myself, no one else will be.
Most people in my class are winding down their weight loss but there are still plenty of us there. After all this is complete we were told to try to keep our calories to 1800-2000 per day. Calories, calories, calories, that has to be my focus no matter what I eat. I can have bread and butter but that will eat up about a fourth of my calories for the day, that sucks.
I remain focused but my eyes are wandering, I just need the strength to see this through to the end...of my weight loss not my life, that is the point of all of this.
Jumped on the scale last night (what a visual) and I had lost a pound. Down is still better than up but it's really slowed down and I have to fight every thought about giving up, something I am not going to do anyway.
Last night in fat class we looked a food labels which believe it or not I always look at when I am grocery shopping. We were told to focus on two things mostly on those labels, calories per serving and number of servings in the package. The assumption is that maybe not at one sitting but you will probably eat the entire package of what ever it is. A serving size is 18 pretzels, 14 crackers, 1 oz of cheese, half a coke, really, those packaging experts really do a number on us people with weight issues and that is part of the plan. I have to be the watchdog for myself, no one else will be.
Most people in my class are winding down their weight loss but there are still plenty of us there. After all this is complete we were told to try to keep our calories to 1800-2000 per day. Calories, calories, calories, that has to be my focus no matter what I eat. I can have bread and butter but that will eat up about a fourth of my calories for the day, that sucks.
I remain focused but my eyes are wandering, I just need the strength to see this through to the end...of my weight loss not my life, that is the point of all of this.
Friday, August 27, 2010
MLWF Day 138
This is the one hundred thirty eighth day in my life without food.
I'm back! For those of you who missed me. I took a little time off from "the project" We did a little traveling, hung out with friends and ate things not part of the plan. I had a fantastic time. As a result I gained 4 lbs on the scale at weigh day this week. Such is the rest of my life. The key is going to be what goes up must come down, I am back on it.
Here is something you may or may not know about me, I eat when I don't feel good. Comfort food was made with my name all over it. My neck and back were injured in an auto accident this past week so I don't feel like exercising but I do feel like eating, bad combination. I am not going to though, I've come too far and I will feel better soon, I hope.
I saw my doctor this past week and he wants me to lose another 30 pounds, ugh, I have to keep going. Wish me luck!
I'll keep you updated!
I'm back! For those of you who missed me. I took a little time off from "the project" We did a little traveling, hung out with friends and ate things not part of the plan. I had a fantastic time. As a result I gained 4 lbs on the scale at weigh day this week. Such is the rest of my life. The key is going to be what goes up must come down, I am back on it.
Here is something you may or may not know about me, I eat when I don't feel good. Comfort food was made with my name all over it. My neck and back were injured in an auto accident this past week so I don't feel like exercising but I do feel like eating, bad combination. I am not going to though, I've come too far and I will feel better soon, I hope.
I saw my doctor this past week and he wants me to lose another 30 pounds, ugh, I have to keep going. Wish me luck!
I'll keep you updated!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
MLWF Day 125
This is the one hundred twenty fifth day in my life without food.
I am really having a hard time staying on the "project". I am feeling good, lost 60 something pounds and I want to play. I am watching myself though, not too much of anything lest I blow back up and we can't have that.
One of the things I could always count on is being able to hold my liquor and wine. Now I get tipsy really easily and if I don't watch it I just fall to sleep, how exciting! Just goes to show I can't over do it on anything any more except exercise and that ain't going to happen. I wish I had the same appetite for exercise that I do for cheese and crackers.
With all of that said, we are headed up to the Sonoma wine country this week to celebrate dear friends anniversary. Talk about a wine and food fest. I promise myself that I will keep my head about me when ordering my meals, I guess we will see.
It's not easy being a self proclaimed "foodie" and fasting but I've made it work so far. In fat class we even talked about what happens when you fall off the food wagon, easy, you just get back on. I want to lose probably another 20 lbs or so but it's never been about the weight number as much as the waist size and I'm not there yet, but I will get there.
I am really having a hard time staying on the "project". I am feeling good, lost 60 something pounds and I want to play. I am watching myself though, not too much of anything lest I blow back up and we can't have that.
One of the things I could always count on is being able to hold my liquor and wine. Now I get tipsy really easily and if I don't watch it I just fall to sleep, how exciting! Just goes to show I can't over do it on anything any more except exercise and that ain't going to happen. I wish I had the same appetite for exercise that I do for cheese and crackers.
With all of that said, we are headed up to the Sonoma wine country this week to celebrate dear friends anniversary. Talk about a wine and food fest. I promise myself that I will keep my head about me when ordering my meals, I guess we will see.
It's not easy being a self proclaimed "foodie" and fasting but I've made it work so far. In fat class we even talked about what happens when you fall off the food wagon, easy, you just get back on. I want to lose probably another 20 lbs or so but it's never been about the weight number as much as the waist size and I'm not there yet, but I will get there.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
MLWF Week 17
This is the seventeenth week in my life without food.
Wow, what a week. Lot's of client lunches with food I LOVE and I managed not to partake. I had one lunch catered using a Hawaiian BBQ restaurant, damn I wanted a plate lunch but I thought the rice and macaroni salad might just push me over the edge. It sure looked good.
Went away for the weekend too and although I was no saint we did manage to get a few walks in and I simply didn't eat everything on my plate, imagine that, self control. While this is a new concept in my life it's one that I am afraid has to be here to stay.
With all that said, I lost 4 lbs. this week, I guess this really is working despite my efforts to eat real food. It's never going to be easy but it does get easier some days. Now if I could get all stress out of my life (be careful what you ask for) this might just work, or I guess I could learn not to be a stress eater, yeah, right.
Still thinking of winding this down toward the end of the month. Let's see how I feel when I get there.
Wow, what a week. Lot's of client lunches with food I LOVE and I managed not to partake. I had one lunch catered using a Hawaiian BBQ restaurant, damn I wanted a plate lunch but I thought the rice and macaroni salad might just push me over the edge. It sure looked good.
Went away for the weekend too and although I was no saint we did manage to get a few walks in and I simply didn't eat everything on my plate, imagine that, self control. While this is a new concept in my life it's one that I am afraid has to be here to stay.
With all that said, I lost 4 lbs. this week, I guess this really is working despite my efforts to eat real food. It's never going to be easy but it does get easier some days. Now if I could get all stress out of my life (be careful what you ask for) this might just work, or I guess I could learn not to be a stress eater, yeah, right.
Still thinking of winding this down toward the end of the month. Let's see how I feel when I get there.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
MLWF Day 115
This is the one hundred fifteenth day in my life without food.
Well shut my mouth, the scale reported a loss of 1.5 lbs. and that after a weekend on the road and a rather slow start back into the fasting routine. I'll take it though, every week down is fine with me.
I am thinking about winding the fast down at the end of the month and losing the rest on my own with what I have learned in fat class. After 4 months working on "the project" I am feeling pretty good about where I am and what I have learned and I know what I have to do. Plus, I have to pay for this and it is very expensive. It's been totally worth it but I've got to come up with a plan to work on this on my own.
More good news last night, after last week's stick in the arm my blood work looked good, blood sugar under control and blood pressure good too. Ladies and Gentlemen that is what this is all about.
"The project" will continue for the rest of my life. I am up for it.
Well shut my mouth, the scale reported a loss of 1.5 lbs. and that after a weekend on the road and a rather slow start back into the fasting routine. I'll take it though, every week down is fine with me.
I am thinking about winding the fast down at the end of the month and losing the rest on my own with what I have learned in fat class. After 4 months working on "the project" I am feeling pretty good about where I am and what I have learned and I know what I have to do. Plus, I have to pay for this and it is very expensive. It's been totally worth it but I've got to come up with a plan to work on this on my own.
More good news last night, after last week's stick in the arm my blood work looked good, blood sugar under control and blood pressure good too. Ladies and Gentlemen that is what this is all about.
"The project" will continue for the rest of my life. I am up for it.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
MLWF Week 16
This is the sixteenth week in my life without food.
Wow, survived the big weekend celebrating my mother's 80th birthday, on so many different levels. First of all, the weekend included a road trip and you know how I love my road food but I didn't do it. I now find making my way from Starbucks to Starbucks takes away many temptations and I can get my iced tea and get back on the road. Plus they have the cleanest restrooms, but that's another story.
We took my Mom to a lovely steakhouse for the big celebration and yes I had a steak and it was GOOD. I am feeling a little more confident in my food choices, I had the steak but no loaded baked potato or bread. I had a martini but I didn't eat the olives, I am fasting after all. I try to look at each day as a whole instead of meal to meal. That way I can plan for those meals I know will have more calories and make adjustments as needed.
It's scale day followed by fat class. I am really trying to not focus on "the number" and more on my original goal, to get my waist size below 40 inches. I am down 4 inches and I currently am sitting at 42. I never thought getting to a 38 waist would be my goal or seem so far away.
I am ready to be able to buy some cute clothes and most stores don't carry slacks over a 40, not that I want to wear anyway. I will get there.
Overall I feel better, people are noticing the changes in my body and I feel like I am moving forward, life is good.
Wow, survived the big weekend celebrating my mother's 80th birthday, on so many different levels. First of all, the weekend included a road trip and you know how I love my road food but I didn't do it. I now find making my way from Starbucks to Starbucks takes away many temptations and I can get my iced tea and get back on the road. Plus they have the cleanest restrooms, but that's another story.
We took my Mom to a lovely steakhouse for the big celebration and yes I had a steak and it was GOOD. I am feeling a little more confident in my food choices, I had the steak but no loaded baked potato or bread. I had a martini but I didn't eat the olives, I am fasting after all. I try to look at each day as a whole instead of meal to meal. That way I can plan for those meals I know will have more calories and make adjustments as needed.
It's scale day followed by fat class. I am really trying to not focus on "the number" and more on my original goal, to get my waist size below 40 inches. I am down 4 inches and I currently am sitting at 42. I never thought getting to a 38 waist would be my goal or seem so far away.
I am ready to be able to buy some cute clothes and most stores don't carry slacks over a 40, not that I want to wear anyway. I will get there.
Overall I feel better, people are noticing the changes in my body and I feel like I am moving forward, life is good.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
MLWF Day 109
This is the one hundred ninth day in my life without food.
Yesterday was quite the challenge. I've been craving a hamburger for a while and I got to work yesterday only to remember that it was my company's annual BBQ at lunch time. I didn't want to seem like I wasn't a "team player" plus I didn't go last year so I went.
I sat and watched as people ate burgers (beef,veggie,salmon), hot dogs, hot links, sausages, orzo salad, slaw, potato salad, chips all ending with an It's It ice cream sandwich and there I sat with my Diet Coke stealing M&Ms for my friend. It wasn't much fun for me.
After work and at the last minute I ended up going with my manager to take a client out for a glass of wine, a cheese platter, tomato tart and what are some of the best pomme frites in the city of San Francisco. I'm no angel, I drank some wine and watched everyone else eat.
I have strength but this is ridiculous. Damn I wanted some of those fries.
Yesterday was quite the challenge. I've been craving a hamburger for a while and I got to work yesterday only to remember that it was my company's annual BBQ at lunch time. I didn't want to seem like I wasn't a "team player" plus I didn't go last year so I went.
I sat and watched as people ate burgers (beef,veggie,salmon), hot dogs, hot links, sausages, orzo salad, slaw, potato salad, chips all ending with an It's It ice cream sandwich and there I sat with my Diet Coke stealing M&Ms for my friend. It wasn't much fun for me.
After work and at the last minute I ended up going with my manager to take a client out for a glass of wine, a cheese platter, tomato tart and what are some of the best pomme frites in the city of San Francisco. I'm no angel, I drank some wine and watched everyone else eat.
I have strength but this is ridiculous. Damn I wanted some of those fries.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
MLWF Day 108
This is the one hundred eighth day in my life without food.
Imagine my surprise when after taking a week "off" from "the project" the scale said I lost another 2.4 lbs.
While I didn't go hog wild crazy last week but I did eat in restaurants four times but I made better choices. In all cases I looked past what I really wanted on the menu and ordered what I thought would be reasonable and it worked out.
I guess "the project" is paying off, even though I am really really craving a GOOD hamburger. I miss different things in different weeks but that's what I miss this week. The smells of Summer are all around and I can smell someone barbecuing a mile away, I haven't invited myself to a strangers BBQ but I've thought about it.
What I learned in fat class: the body doesn't change unless you do something it does not know. We had a fitness expert as a guest speaker last night and while she said many things I have heard before what I took away was I need variety. It really is important to change up your workout routine because your body gets used to doing the same thing over and over so for max benefit mix it up. WHEN I work out I tend to do the same thing every time, I am going to make some changes and see what happens.
I've lost a total of 59.8 lbs. but I still have a looooong way to go. I get a little down sometimes when I think about it but I am just taking every day as it comes. Wish my luck and hide your hamburger.
Imagine my surprise when after taking a week "off" from "the project" the scale said I lost another 2.4 lbs.
While I didn't go hog wild crazy last week but I did eat in restaurants four times but I made better choices. In all cases I looked past what I really wanted on the menu and ordered what I thought would be reasonable and it worked out.
I guess "the project" is paying off, even though I am really really craving a GOOD hamburger. I miss different things in different weeks but that's what I miss this week. The smells of Summer are all around and I can smell someone barbecuing a mile away, I haven't invited myself to a strangers BBQ but I've thought about it.
What I learned in fat class: the body doesn't change unless you do something it does not know. We had a fitness expert as a guest speaker last night and while she said many things I have heard before what I took away was I need variety. It really is important to change up your workout routine because your body gets used to doing the same thing over and over so for max benefit mix it up. WHEN I work out I tend to do the same thing every time, I am going to make some changes and see what happens.
I've lost a total of 59.8 lbs. but I still have a looooong way to go. I get a little down sometimes when I think about it but I am just taking every day as it comes. Wish my luck and hide your hamburger.
Monday, July 26, 2010
MLWF Day 106
This is the one hundred sixth day in my life without food.
Not really true this week. I kind of took a week off from "the project" but I didn't go crazy and so far haven't gained weight either. I had several commitments last week that included eating out and maybe a cocktail or two. Work lunches and birthday dinners are part of real life.
It's Monday morning and I just drank my chocolate breakfast. Back on it and feeling good.
Also went clothing shopping over the weekend. I am at the awkward in between size, not ready for the next size down but my clothes are looking a little baggy. It was fun trying on new cute shirts and pants, couple more weeks and I'll try again.
Tomorrow is weigh day and fat class. I would never share that I went off program or what they refer to as breaking the fast, that's just between you and me. They would not understand, trust me!
Not really true this week. I kind of took a week off from "the project" but I didn't go crazy and so far haven't gained weight either. I had several commitments last week that included eating out and maybe a cocktail or two. Work lunches and birthday dinners are part of real life.
It's Monday morning and I just drank my chocolate breakfast. Back on it and feeling good.
Also went clothing shopping over the weekend. I am at the awkward in between size, not ready for the next size down but my clothes are looking a little baggy. It was fun trying on new cute shirts and pants, couple more weeks and I'll try again.
Tomorrow is weigh day and fat class. I would never share that I went off program or what they refer to as breaking the fast, that's just between you and me. They would not understand, trust me!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
MLWF Week 14
This is the fourteenth week in my life without food.
They say something becomes habit after 3 weeks so why doesn't losing weight get any easier and why don't I like to work out? It is true that the more weight I lose the more motivated I become but it is still hard to stay on track each and every day. I am simply doing the best I can.
This week the scale said down 3.8 lbs and I am very pleased. I am inching toward my goal of getting my waist size below 40...no pun intended. Down 4 inches to 42 now, I'll get there.
The next few weeks promise to be a challenge to stay on track, friends in town for a birthday celebration, next week back to Reno for Mom's 80th birthday and then back to the desert for a long weekend. I have to stay SO focused M-F and not go too crazy on the weekends, I'll get through it but only the scale will tell for sure.
It's Friday and I must get to the gym in the morning, weeks that I am manage to get my workouts in really do show at the scale.
Wish me luck...
They say something becomes habit after 3 weeks so why doesn't losing weight get any easier and why don't I like to work out? It is true that the more weight I lose the more motivated I become but it is still hard to stay on track each and every day. I am simply doing the best I can.
This week the scale said down 3.8 lbs and I am very pleased. I am inching toward my goal of getting my waist size below 40...no pun intended. Down 4 inches to 42 now, I'll get there.
The next few weeks promise to be a challenge to stay on track, friends in town for a birthday celebration, next week back to Reno for Mom's 80th birthday and then back to the desert for a long weekend. I have to stay SO focused M-F and not go too crazy on the weekends, I'll get through it but only the scale will tell for sure.
It's Friday and I must get to the gym in the morning, weeks that I am manage to get my workouts in really do show at the scale.
Wish me luck...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
MLWF Day 94
This is the ninety fourth day in my life without food.
A half a pound a day weight loss is what I am averaging so far during "the project". The scale said 2.6 down this week. I'm happy.
In past experiences I would have given up by now having gotten on and off the wagon numerous times. This time I am cutting myself a little more slack and I start every day over. Yesterday was a good day or it wasn't but as long as I refocus everyday I am still taking in far fewer calories than I was before I started this endeavor.
What I learned in fat class: Did you know that if you weigh 150 pounds you have to take in 1500 calories a day to maintain that weight. To lose weight simply take in less than 1500 calories. Wow I was taking in a lot of calories before I started, no wonder I was fat. I see protein drinks in my future for a very long time, they are nutritious an easy way to keep the calories down. Too bad they don't come in a bacon flavor.
I survived the last few days without one tortilla chip or Oreo cookie at the office. Even though I would walk by people standing around eating the chips and they smelled so good, the chips not the people. I am pretty good as long as I don't have the first one. Past experience in dealing with stressful situations would have me grab a handful of chips and say fuck it. I had an extra shake instead, boring but it works. UGH!
Today will be a good day or it won't. I can't control that but as long as I don't have the first chip I'll be fine. Wish me luck.
A half a pound a day weight loss is what I am averaging so far during "the project". The scale said 2.6 down this week. I'm happy.
In past experiences I would have given up by now having gotten on and off the wagon numerous times. This time I am cutting myself a little more slack and I start every day over. Yesterday was a good day or it wasn't but as long as I refocus everyday I am still taking in far fewer calories than I was before I started this endeavor.
What I learned in fat class: Did you know that if you weigh 150 pounds you have to take in 1500 calories a day to maintain that weight. To lose weight simply take in less than 1500 calories. Wow I was taking in a lot of calories before I started, no wonder I was fat. I see protein drinks in my future for a very long time, they are nutritious an easy way to keep the calories down. Too bad they don't come in a bacon flavor.
I survived the last few days without one tortilla chip or Oreo cookie at the office. Even though I would walk by people standing around eating the chips and they smelled so good, the chips not the people. I am pretty good as long as I don't have the first one. Past experience in dealing with stressful situations would have me grab a handful of chips and say fuck it. I had an extra shake instead, boring but it works. UGH!
Today will be a good day or it won't. I can't control that but as long as I don't have the first chip I'll be fine. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
MLWF Week 13
This is my thirteenth week in my life without food.
STRESS is not my friend. I have to say that is probably the number one reason I overeat. Today started out stressful at home and continued that way at the office.
I'm tired and I'm cranky which made walking past a giant bag of tortilla chips and a container of Oreos someone brought to the office most challenging.
Why do people who want to get food that is bad for them out of their house always bring it to the office? I managed to avoid the snacks and and I had to take something to a client anyway so went for a walk instead.
It's weigh day followed by fat class tonight. After my weekend I am not sure I want to see the results but I'm going anyway. Wish me luck.
STRESS is not my friend. I have to say that is probably the number one reason I overeat. Today started out stressful at home and continued that way at the office.
I'm tired and I'm cranky which made walking past a giant bag of tortilla chips and a container of Oreos someone brought to the office most challenging.
Why do people who want to get food that is bad for them out of their house always bring it to the office? I managed to avoid the snacks and and I had to take something to a client anyway so went for a walk instead.
It's weigh day followed by fat class tonight. After my weekend I am not sure I want to see the results but I'm going anyway. Wish me luck.
Friday, July 9, 2010
MLWF Day 89
This is the eighty ninth day in my life without food.
Sometimes I feel like I am just whining but I have determined that what I am doing is not easy nor should it be. The body is very complicated and everyone is different. I know mine pretty darn well and I haven't treated it very well most years. It takes time to turn that around.
I just hope my body forgives my prior indiscretions and I can complete "the project" and move on. I hope to find a new respect for my body. I'll keep looking. People say you should treat your body like a temple while I have treated mine more like a drive thru at McDonald's...you know you shouldn't be there but you go there anyway because it's easy and quick.
Yesterday at work someone decided that ordering pizzas for a team event was a good idea and of course they ended up on the table outside my cubicle. I took one whiff and left the building. I miss pizza.
It's the weekend again. I do very well during the week when I have more structure in my life. The weekends are still hard. I keep doing the best I can.
I am very lucky to have much support during "the project" from my husband, friends and family. I know many don't understand just how hard this is for me but I know I can count on them. That's a nice feeling.
Sometimes I feel like I am just whining but I have determined that what I am doing is not easy nor should it be. The body is very complicated and everyone is different. I know mine pretty darn well and I haven't treated it very well most years. It takes time to turn that around.
I just hope my body forgives my prior indiscretions and I can complete "the project" and move on. I hope to find a new respect for my body. I'll keep looking. People say you should treat your body like a temple while I have treated mine more like a drive thru at McDonald's...you know you shouldn't be there but you go there anyway because it's easy and quick.
Yesterday at work someone decided that ordering pizzas for a team event was a good idea and of course they ended up on the table outside my cubicle. I took one whiff and left the building. I miss pizza.
It's the weekend again. I do very well during the week when I have more structure in my life. The weekends are still hard. I keep doing the best I can.
I am very lucky to have much support during "the project" from my husband, friends and family. I know many don't understand just how hard this is for me but I know I can count on them. That's a nice feeling.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
MLWF Week 12
This is the twelfth week in my life without food.
OK, so week eleven wasn't totally without food. I took a few days off from "the project" to enjoy a little R & R with my husband. Once again, I didn't go as crazy as I could have gone but I did eat a little, drink a little and enjoy a few of the finer things in life. It was fun!
The more I can say no to certain old trigger foods the better I feel. If I don't eat the first chip I am fine. I miss chips and guacamole but I am getting by just fine without them.
It's weigh day followed by fat class. I keep thinking this is going to get easier but it's not going to. Same old decision every day, to eat or not to eat. Some days I make the "right" choices and some days I just have fun. That's life...damn it!
I am waiting for the scale to tell me how much fun I had. It rarely lies and as far as I am concerned it's just a number...wow, I almost believed that.
OK, so week eleven wasn't totally without food. I took a few days off from "the project" to enjoy a little R & R with my husband. Once again, I didn't go as crazy as I could have gone but I did eat a little, drink a little and enjoy a few of the finer things in life. It was fun!
The more I can say no to certain old trigger foods the better I feel. If I don't eat the first chip I am fine. I miss chips and guacamole but I am getting by just fine without them.
It's weigh day followed by fat class. I keep thinking this is going to get easier but it's not going to. Same old decision every day, to eat or not to eat. Some days I make the "right" choices and some days I just have fun. That's life...damn it!
I am waiting for the scale to tell me how much fun I had. It rarely lies and as far as I am concerned it's just a number...wow, I almost believed that.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
MLWF Day 80
This is the eightieth day in my life without food.
I'm better. I'm back down to where I was Monday morning and officially in fat class the scale said I was down another 2 lbs. which just puts me a smidge under 50 lbs lost. OK, so I know it's only been 11 weeks and I've lost almost 50 lbs but it's not getting any easier and I am not the most patient person in the world but I also know I have to take this day by day.
Yesterday was not a good day. I'm allowed to have melt down days too it's just a little harder when times are tough and I don't have food to turn to. My favorite foods have always been my stand by friend and now they are not. Food has abandoned me or have I abandoned food.
In fat class now they are teaching us how to calculate calories by sight using what they call anchor points. Food labels are always helpful when you have them and they are correct but what do you do when eating in a restaurant? Shopping at the farmers market? Dinner party? Did you know an ounce of pizza is only 100 calories? Who the hell only eats an ounce of pizza? Ah, I learn the darnedest things in fat class.
Working week 12 now, I'll do the best I can do considering it's a holiday weekend and we are traveling. I guess the scale will tell.
I'm better. I'm back down to where I was Monday morning and officially in fat class the scale said I was down another 2 lbs. which just puts me a smidge under 50 lbs lost. OK, so I know it's only been 11 weeks and I've lost almost 50 lbs but it's not getting any easier and I am not the most patient person in the world but I also know I have to take this day by day.
Yesterday was not a good day. I'm allowed to have melt down days too it's just a little harder when times are tough and I don't have food to turn to. My favorite foods have always been my stand by friend and now they are not. Food has abandoned me or have I abandoned food.
In fat class now they are teaching us how to calculate calories by sight using what they call anchor points. Food labels are always helpful when you have them and they are correct but what do you do when eating in a restaurant? Shopping at the farmers market? Dinner party? Did you know an ounce of pizza is only 100 calories? Who the hell only eats an ounce of pizza? Ah, I learn the darnedest things in fat class.
Working week 12 now, I'll do the best I can do considering it's a holiday weekend and we are traveling. I guess the scale will tell.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
MLWF Week 11
This is the eleventh week in my life without food.
I'm stuck! I am at that usual place in a weight loss program where my loss has slowed down and bounces up and down a little. It's too soon for that to happen so now I have to triple my efforts I guess. It was so easy to gain all this weight why can't losing it be easier?
I am also getting bored with the program which is never good for me. Eating the same thing everyday gets really really boring, unless there is pork involved of course. But as you know there is no pork involved and it is what it is...porkless.
Yesterday the scale at home said I gained 7 lbs. from before work until I got home. I had an OK day yesterday but it wasn't THAT good. WTF body? Let's take this in a different direction and NOW would be good.
It's scale day followed by fat class. My Tuesdays have never been so exciting.
Sorry if I seem bitchy and dismal today, maybe it's my time of the month.
I'm stuck! I am at that usual place in a weight loss program where my loss has slowed down and bounces up and down a little. It's too soon for that to happen so now I have to triple my efforts I guess. It was so easy to gain all this weight why can't losing it be easier?
I am also getting bored with the program which is never good for me. Eating the same thing everyday gets really really boring, unless there is pork involved of course. But as you know there is no pork involved and it is what it is...porkless.
Yesterday the scale at home said I gained 7 lbs. from before work until I got home. I had an OK day yesterday but it wasn't THAT good. WTF body? Let's take this in a different direction and NOW would be good.
It's scale day followed by fat class. My Tuesdays have never been so exciting.
Sorry if I seem bitchy and dismal today, maybe it's my time of the month.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
MLWF Day 74
This is the seventy fourth day in my life without food.
Boy have things slowed down with my weight loss. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is just what happens when I get to a certain level of weight lost. The scale said 1.5 pounds lost this week and while my "line" is at least it was down and not up I was still a little disappointed. I did it to myself but things are going to change.
I have been very focused this week and it's not been easy. After so many weeks working on "the project" it is hard to stay focused and really really hard not to fall back into old habits. That's true especially as summer unfolds and things become more social. I am not going to stop going to or having dinner parties but I really have to keep things under control and balanced. Staying strong is not easy, it's much easier to just say fuck it, I'll start again tomorrow.
The trouble is I've had a lifetime of starting again tomorrows and someday I won't have that chance. As hard as it is and as much as I wish I didn't have to worry about my weight I do, it's just part of life for me.
People that have never had a weight problem probably won't understand this. What I do know is that everyone is hooked on something, for me it's food and wine. Life can be so cruel.
Boy have things slowed down with my weight loss. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is just what happens when I get to a certain level of weight lost. The scale said 1.5 pounds lost this week and while my "line" is at least it was down and not up I was still a little disappointed. I did it to myself but things are going to change.
I have been very focused this week and it's not been easy. After so many weeks working on "the project" it is hard to stay focused and really really hard not to fall back into old habits. That's true especially as summer unfolds and things become more social. I am not going to stop going to or having dinner parties but I really have to keep things under control and balanced. Staying strong is not easy, it's much easier to just say fuck it, I'll start again tomorrow.
The trouble is I've had a lifetime of starting again tomorrows and someday I won't have that chance. As hard as it is and as much as I wish I didn't have to worry about my weight I do, it's just part of life for me.
People that have never had a weight problem probably won't understand this. What I do know is that everyone is hooked on something, for me it's food and wine. Life can be so cruel.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
MLWF Day 66
This is the sixty sixth day in my life without food.
Usually when my husband is out of town I take the opportunity to eat the things he doesn't like to eat or eat the things I don't want him to know I eat...you know KFC and such. Times have changed, none of that foolery has been going on this week. Not that I haven't thought about it. Now I'm too far "in" to make a drastically wrong turns that I am sure to regret on the scale next week. Damn it!
I am really getting tired of eating the same thing every day but I operate better when I have strict "rules" to follow. Measured meals work better for someone who is portion control challenged. Why go for seconds when you can save time by getting all the food up front, oh yeah, that's how I got fat.
One more night eating dinner alone, I think I'll make it but if not tomorrow is another day. I've stopped beating myself up about food, it is what it is and I know what to do should I suffer from over fork usage, lie! Not really, I'm doing the best I can and it's working, I can't ask for anything better than that.
Usually when my husband is out of town I take the opportunity to eat the things he doesn't like to eat or eat the things I don't want him to know I eat...you know KFC and such. Times have changed, none of that foolery has been going on this week. Not that I haven't thought about it. Now I'm too far "in" to make a drastically wrong turns that I am sure to regret on the scale next week. Damn it!
I am really getting tired of eating the same thing every day but I operate better when I have strict "rules" to follow. Measured meals work better for someone who is portion control challenged. Why go for seconds when you can save time by getting all the food up front, oh yeah, that's how I got fat.
One more night eating dinner alone, I think I'll make it but if not tomorrow is another day. I've stopped beating myself up about food, it is what it is and I know what to do should I suffer from over fork usage, lie! Not really, I'm doing the best I can and it's working, I can't ask for anything better than that.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
MLWF Day 65
This is the sixty fifth day in my life without food.
Well I'll be damned, I lost 3.6 lbs. this week, totally not expecting that. That's about 43.6 total having recovered from my little vacation weight gain. I'm happy.
Interesting that the topic in fat class last night was "failure recovery" or what happens after you eat that bag of chips. Again, nothing that I haven't heard before (if you fall off get back on sort of stuff) but it's always nice to hear other people with the same point of few having the same issues. That's why we have fat class I guess.
Did you know that one Krispy Kreme donut has 250 calories? No one eats just one and that adds up quickly. Did you know it takes some 87,000 calories to gain 25 lbs.? It doesn't take that make donuts, chips, glasses of wine to add up to that 87k, here we are right back to mindful eating. The "fat guru's" point was if you want to or need to eat a Snickers bar everyday (regular size not super size) just eat it, but make sure you count it in your total for the day. Sounds simple doesn't it, so why isn't it?
I'm moving forward, not telling what the next few weeks or months will bring but I am just doing the best I can.
Well I'll be damned, I lost 3.6 lbs. this week, totally not expecting that. That's about 43.6 total having recovered from my little vacation weight gain. I'm happy.
Interesting that the topic in fat class last night was "failure recovery" or what happens after you eat that bag of chips. Again, nothing that I haven't heard before (if you fall off get back on sort of stuff) but it's always nice to hear other people with the same point of few having the same issues. That's why we have fat class I guess.
Did you know that one Krispy Kreme donut has 250 calories? No one eats just one and that adds up quickly. Did you know it takes some 87,000 calories to gain 25 lbs.? It doesn't take that make donuts, chips, glasses of wine to add up to that 87k, here we are right back to mindful eating. The "fat guru's" point was if you want to or need to eat a Snickers bar everyday (regular size not super size) just eat it, but make sure you count it in your total for the day. Sounds simple doesn't it, so why isn't it?
I'm moving forward, not telling what the next few weeks or months will bring but I am just doing the best I can.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
MLWF Day 64
This is the sixty fourth day in my life without food.
This is also the time in the program where my weight loss slows down dramatically. It happens every time I try to lose weight and now comes the hard part. I could get very discouraged and say fuck it, but I think I am going to stick it out, it can only be good for me.
It's Tuesday so it's weigh day and fat class, imagine having something so exciting to look forward to after work. I guess the scale will tell all.
I am doing my best to remain focused and in line, not the line at In & Out Burger but the line I have to walk, the healthy one. Sometimes I feel like fun is over in my life, I just have to find different fun that doesn't include food and wine. Where are you fun? You've got to be out there.
This is also the time in the program where my weight loss slows down dramatically. It happens every time I try to lose weight and now comes the hard part. I could get very discouraged and say fuck it, but I think I am going to stick it out, it can only be good for me.
It's Tuesday so it's weigh day and fat class, imagine having something so exciting to look forward to after work. I guess the scale will tell all.
I am doing my best to remain focused and in line, not the line at In & Out Burger but the line I have to walk, the healthy one. Sometimes I feel like fun is over in my life, I just have to find different fun that doesn't include food and wine. Where are you fun? You've got to be out there.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
MLWF Day 59
This is the fifty ninth day in my life without food.
In fat class this week they handed us our charts and the doctor who runs the place went through them page by page. Kind of boring stuff but good information if your numbers have been out of whack as mine have been for some time. It's was interesting sitting in a class of fat people all with a blank stares on their face has Dr. Sunshine (as I call her) goes on very seriously about the numbers. She spoke as if she knew we wouldn't understand doctor speak, people know more than most doctors think they do.
They discontinued a lot of the "food" options this week especially the ones that don't sell very well. By the way some people acted you would think they were ripping food right out of their hands. The stuff they got rid of tasted like crap anyway...but I guess not to everyone. Some of them were going to get together to buy of the remaining cases of their faves, everyone has to be addicted to something I guess.
This week one of my best friends mentioned me on her TV show when she paid homage to my fried chicken saying it was the best she had every had. She said this to the owner/chef of one of the best restaurants in SF, the Foreign Cinema. Funny isn't it, I can't eat real food but I'm know for my fried chicken, ain't life weird.
In fat class this week they handed us our charts and the doctor who runs the place went through them page by page. Kind of boring stuff but good information if your numbers have been out of whack as mine have been for some time. It's was interesting sitting in a class of fat people all with a blank stares on their face has Dr. Sunshine (as I call her) goes on very seriously about the numbers. She spoke as if she knew we wouldn't understand doctor speak, people know more than most doctors think they do.
They discontinued a lot of the "food" options this week especially the ones that don't sell very well. By the way some people acted you would think they were ripping food right out of their hands. The stuff they got rid of tasted like crap anyway...but I guess not to everyone. Some of them were going to get together to buy of the remaining cases of their faves, everyone has to be addicted to something I guess.
This week one of my best friends mentioned me on her TV show when she paid homage to my fried chicken saying it was the best she had every had. She said this to the owner/chef of one of the best restaurants in SF, the Foreign Cinema. Funny isn't it, I can't eat real food but I'm know for my fried chicken, ain't life weird.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
MLWF Day 58
This is the fifty eighth day in my life without food.
Yesterday was weigh day and fat class. The vacation fall out wasn't as bad as anticipated but I gained 2 pounds. You would think by the reaction at "the clinic" that I had kicked a baby and lost my mind. What they didn't know is gaining only 2 pounds after a week long vacation is practically a record, I can usually pack on up to 10 lbs. in a week of fun and sun so I am completely happy with the results, it will come off, probably by today.
After being on the fast "sort of" for a week I am having a little trouble focusing on the plan but I am doing it because I have to not because I want to.
Yesterday was weigh day and fat class. The vacation fall out wasn't as bad as anticipated but I gained 2 pounds. You would think by the reaction at "the clinic" that I had kicked a baby and lost my mind. What they didn't know is gaining only 2 pounds after a week long vacation is practically a record, I can usually pack on up to 10 lbs. in a week of fun and sun so I am completely happy with the results, it will come off, probably by today.
After being on the fast "sort of" for a week I am having a little trouble focusing on the plan but I am doing it because I have to not because I want to.
Monday, June 7, 2010
MLWF Week 9
This is the beginning of the ninth week in my life without food.
OK, while I was somewhat under control on vacation last week I will get no awards for losing the most weight but I don't think I will be kicked out of the program either.
I found it easier and easier to slide as the week moved along but today I am 100% back on the program eating my porridge and drinking my shakes...yum yum.
I think I gained about 4 or 5 lbs. but it was worth it and it could have been much worse.
You know what they say, if you fall off a horse you are supposed to get right back on. I am back in the saddle again... I need a set of those blinders the put on horses and mules sometime, got to stay focused somehow.
Tomorrow is weigh day and fat class, should be interesting.
OK, while I was somewhat under control on vacation last week I will get no awards for losing the most weight but I don't think I will be kicked out of the program either.
I found it easier and easier to slide as the week moved along but today I am 100% back on the program eating my porridge and drinking my shakes...yum yum.
I think I gained about 4 or 5 lbs. but it was worth it and it could have been much worse.
You know what they say, if you fall off a horse you are supposed to get right back on. I am back in the saddle again... I need a set of those blinders the put on horses and mules sometime, got to stay focused somehow.
Tomorrow is weigh day and fat class, should be interesting.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
MLWF Day 47
This is the forty seventh day in my life without food.
OK, I'm on vacation and though I usually blow it out when traveling I am actually being mindful and aware of what I am doing food wise. Last night we had dinner with friends and yes I had my first martini in two months but guess what, I had one and then ordered a diet coke, wow, what has happened to me?
I am also, as I am sure you have guessed, eating a little food this week. No mindless eating, just a little nibble here and there. Palm Springs is a very social place and what I enjoy mostly about it. I also took 3 walks with the puppies today and not just a pee break but a real walk. I feel good about where I am and don't plan on throwing away the 47 days I've invested so far.
Tomorrow we are going to a BBQ and we have a couple of dinners scheduled this week with friends, it's going to be challenging but I am up for it.
OK, I'm on vacation and though I usually blow it out when traveling I am actually being mindful and aware of what I am doing food wise. Last night we had dinner with friends and yes I had my first martini in two months but guess what, I had one and then ordered a diet coke, wow, what has happened to me?
I am also, as I am sure you have guessed, eating a little food this week. No mindless eating, just a little nibble here and there. Palm Springs is a very social place and what I enjoy mostly about it. I also took 3 walks with the puppies today and not just a pee break but a real walk. I feel good about where I am and don't plan on throwing away the 47 days I've invested so far.
Tomorrow we are going to a BBQ and we have a couple of dinners scheduled this week with friends, it's going to be challenging but I am up for it.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
MLWF Day 44
This is the forty forth day in my life without food.
It's a cold rainy day, wouldn't a chili dog with cheese be good right now? See what happens when I let my mind wander...focus. No, I'll sit here in my cubicle and eat my porridge like a good boy. It's not easy being a good boy...all the time any way.
I am warning everyone now, I will be on vacation next week and I plan on having at least one martini! I haven't had one for almost two months and I want one. I'll be good though, I won't eat the olives.
As mentioned before, we are off to the desert next week and I find that my husband and I are much more active when we are there. It's warmer, we have a great area to walk around in, great workout room and very nice bicycles too, I am really not too worried about the vacation, I know I will keep moving.
I am now below my target vacation weight and I plan on keeping it that way or going even lower, imagine that, losing weight while on vacation.
The teacher in my fat class looked at me with glaring eyes when I told him I would not be there next week even inquiring "you aren't going off the fast next week ARE you?" Of course not I said (not like I would tell him any way).
It's a cold rainy day, wouldn't a chili dog with cheese be good right now? See what happens when I let my mind wander...focus. No, I'll sit here in my cubicle and eat my porridge like a good boy. It's not easy being a good boy...all the time any way.
I am warning everyone now, I will be on vacation next week and I plan on having at least one martini! I haven't had one for almost two months and I want one. I'll be good though, I won't eat the olives.
As mentioned before, we are off to the desert next week and I find that my husband and I are much more active when we are there. It's warmer, we have a great area to walk around in, great workout room and very nice bicycles too, I am really not too worried about the vacation, I know I will keep moving.
I am now below my target vacation weight and I plan on keeping it that way or going even lower, imagine that, losing weight while on vacation.
The teacher in my fat class looked at me with glaring eyes when I told him I would not be there next week even inquiring "you aren't going off the fast next week ARE you?" Of course not I said (not like I would tell him any way).
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
MLWF Week 6
This is the sixth week in my life without food.
Yesterday was weigh day followed by fat class. The scale was kind once again reporting a loss of 4.6 lbs for a grand total in six weeks of 40.5. That's a relief, I hit my goal for vacation fours days ahead of schedule. Now I can work on a cushion "just in case", it is vacation and we are going to the desert.
Last night in fat class we talked about triggers. No not the horse or the bar in the Castro but the kind that make you feel like everything will be better if you eat. For me I really don't need a reason, I eat if I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, awake, what can I say I like food. It's all about paying attention to what you put in your mouth and not setting yourself up for failure. You know, like that giant single serving size bag of chips in your pantry or the gallon of Rocky Road in the freezer, don't do it!
Thinking ahead to vacation next week I plan on keeping very active. Up early taking the puppies on long walks, working out in the gym, riding bikes. More physical exercising and less drinking exercising. While lifting a glass to my mouth may seem like a good idea it usually just leads to bad things. I guess we shall see! Stay tuned...
Yesterday was weigh day followed by fat class. The scale was kind once again reporting a loss of 4.6 lbs for a grand total in six weeks of 40.5. That's a relief, I hit my goal for vacation fours days ahead of schedule. Now I can work on a cushion "just in case", it is vacation and we are going to the desert.
Last night in fat class we talked about triggers. No not the horse or the bar in the Castro but the kind that make you feel like everything will be better if you eat. For me I really don't need a reason, I eat if I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, awake, what can I say I like food. It's all about paying attention to what you put in your mouth and not setting yourself up for failure. You know, like that giant single serving size bag of chips in your pantry or the gallon of Rocky Road in the freezer, don't do it!
Thinking ahead to vacation next week I plan on keeping very active. Up early taking the puppies on long walks, working out in the gym, riding bikes. More physical exercising and less drinking exercising. While lifting a glass to my mouth may seem like a good idea it usually just leads to bad things. I guess we shall see! Stay tuned...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
MLWF Day 40
This is the fortieth day in my life without food.
The weekends are still the hardest. No matter how busy I keep myself it's so easy to fall off the plan. When I do, because as I told you earlier I am no saint, I just stay focused and pick up where I left off. It is what is it.
One week until our vacation and I had set a personal goal to drop 40 lbs before we leave. As of this morning our scale said I was at 38 pounds down, that could completely change but tomorrow morning but it made me feel good. I just want to be able to get into some of my cute little summer shirts for our visit to the desert, I think I'll make it.
I can't believe it's almost weigh day again. The weeks are flying by and I am finding the "project" a little easier every week. I am getting bored drinking/eating the same thing every day but it's the price I have to pay for years of play play play.
The weekends are still the hardest. No matter how busy I keep myself it's so easy to fall off the plan. When I do, because as I told you earlier I am no saint, I just stay focused and pick up where I left off. It is what is it.
One week until our vacation and I had set a personal goal to drop 40 lbs before we leave. As of this morning our scale said I was at 38 pounds down, that could completely change but tomorrow morning but it made me feel good. I just want to be able to get into some of my cute little summer shirts for our visit to the desert, I think I'll make it.
I can't believe it's almost weigh day again. The weeks are flying by and I am finding the "project" a little easier every week. I am getting bored drinking/eating the same thing every day but it's the price I have to pay for years of play play play.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
MLWF Day 36
This is the thirty sixth day in my life without food.
The scale said down 3.6 this week. That's a total of 35.9 in 5 weeks. I am happy happy happy, down is always better than up I say.
Last night in fat class we discussed food triggers. You know, like smelling popcorn in the movie theater, fresh baked anything while walking through Willams Sonoma and of course anything and I do mean anything on a BBQ grill.
My fat class teacher referenced H A L T last night which is used in many 12 step program when talking about triggers --
H - Hungry, like I need to be hungry to eat. The point being that if you eat all of your meals and don't skip you will tend not to overeat at any particular seating.
A - Angry, because we all have a tendency to bury things and it's going to come out somewhere, why not in a bag of chips?
L - Lonely, though obvious this one usually manifests itself in me as boredom, nothing to do or no one to talk to, let's eat!
T - Tired, long day at the office, puppies barking their heads off, cranky pants eats the wrong thing...again. Having your meals planned is the key.
None of these things is new to me, however, keeping them top of mind isn't always what I do which is why I go into a walking food coma and gain weight. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to think all...mindless eating can be fun but usually results in a wardrobe of Mumus.
The scale said down 3.6 this week. That's a total of 35.9 in 5 weeks. I am happy happy happy, down is always better than up I say.
Last night in fat class we discussed food triggers. You know, like smelling popcorn in the movie theater, fresh baked anything while walking through Willams Sonoma and of course anything and I do mean anything on a BBQ grill.
My fat class teacher referenced H A L T last night which is used in many 12 step program when talking about triggers --
H - Hungry, like I need to be hungry to eat. The point being that if you eat all of your meals and don't skip you will tend not to overeat at any particular seating.
A - Angry, because we all have a tendency to bury things and it's going to come out somewhere, why not in a bag of chips?
L - Lonely, though obvious this one usually manifests itself in me as boredom, nothing to do or no one to talk to, let's eat!
T - Tired, long day at the office, puppies barking their heads off, cranky pants eats the wrong thing...again. Having your meals planned is the key.
None of these things is new to me, however, keeping them top of mind isn't always what I do which is why I go into a walking food coma and gain weight. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to think all...mindless eating can be fun but usually results in a wardrobe of Mumus.
Monday, May 17, 2010
MLWF Day 34
This is the thirty fourth day in my life without food.
With the road trip behind me, I am now focused on the routine of not eating. I did pretty well on the road and even worked out both days. I figured, the hotel is new and has a nice workout facility so it wouldn't kill me to get up early and exercise. I am here to tell you I am not dead.
I miss variety. I used to say that I got tired of cooking the same old meals week in and week out but I would love to have that problem now. Eating pretty much the same thing everyday is getting a little old and I don't care how much hot sauce you use it is what it is...porridge. I am sure I'll get over it when I step up on that scale tomorrow.
Yes tomorrow is weigh day. I don't think I've lost as much as last week but I guess I can't lose 7 lbs every week. I wish I could, the project would be completed in record time if I could...mean while, back in reality I will be happy if I lost anything at all.
With the road trip behind me, I am now focused on the routine of not eating. I did pretty well on the road and even worked out both days. I figured, the hotel is new and has a nice workout facility so it wouldn't kill me to get up early and exercise. I am here to tell you I am not dead.
I miss variety. I used to say that I got tired of cooking the same old meals week in and week out but I would love to have that problem now. Eating pretty much the same thing everyday is getting a little old and I don't care how much hot sauce you use it is what it is...porridge. I am sure I'll get over it when I step up on that scale tomorrow.
Yes tomorrow is weigh day. I don't think I've lost as much as last week but I guess I can't lose 7 lbs every week. I wish I could, the project would be completed in record time if I could...mean while, back in reality I will be happy if I lost anything at all.
Friday, May 14, 2010
MLWF Day 31
This is the thirty first day in my life without food.
I am on my first road trip since I started "the project" and it's been interesting challenging already. One of the first things I like to do on a road trip is when you stop for gas the first time pick up "road food" that of course have no calories and no one sees you eat, except for my husband of course. No Fritos, no Cheetos, no Starbucks breakfast sandwich, no Snickers and no burger or fries. I think I've decided that road trips can only be one tank trips so I don't have to stop for gas and therefore no temptations. That's real isn't it?
Let me tell you that Reno has food available 24 hours a day. Fast food outlets have a major presence in this town as do plenty of medium to good restaurants and of course the $7.99 buffets that I didn't frequent even before, something about a T Bone steak for $7.99 just sounds yucky. Don't have to worry about that now, I have everything I need that I carry in a little black cooler, yum yum, protein drinks and porridge.
I brought my workout clothes and got up early to use the hotel's exercise equipment, it's always been there (I stay in this hotel often) I just chose to ignore it up to now. It's amazing how many things I ignored up to now.
I am here to help my brother celebrate graduation from a Masters program, I plan on celebrating all within reason, shh, don't tell anybody.
I am on my first road trip since I started "the project" and it's been interesting challenging already. One of the first things I like to do on a road trip is when you stop for gas the first time pick up "road food" that of course have no calories and no one sees you eat, except for my husband of course. No Fritos, no Cheetos, no Starbucks breakfast sandwich, no Snickers and no burger or fries. I think I've decided that road trips can only be one tank trips so I don't have to stop for gas and therefore no temptations. That's real isn't it?
Let me tell you that Reno has food available 24 hours a day. Fast food outlets have a major presence in this town as do plenty of medium to good restaurants and of course the $7.99 buffets that I didn't frequent even before, something about a T Bone steak for $7.99 just sounds yucky. Don't have to worry about that now, I have everything I need that I carry in a little black cooler, yum yum, protein drinks and porridge.
I brought my workout clothes and got up early to use the hotel's exercise equipment, it's always been there (I stay in this hotel often) I just chose to ignore it up to now. It's amazing how many things I ignored up to now.
I am here to help my brother celebrate graduation from a Masters program, I plan on celebrating all within reason, shh, don't tell anybody.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
MLWF Day 29
This is the twenty ninth day in my life without food.
It's all about the numbers and mine were all good. 7.4 lbs this week for a total of 32.3 so far. More importantly my "other" numbers are even better. Blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol...all those things doctors like to watch especially when you are over 50 are all good. This not eating really does work.
At this rate I could be Twiggy size in a couple of months. It's going to be hard though, I do love a good summer BBQ. I may have to squeeze at least one in, shhh!
I am having a hungry day and I swear every desk I walk by in my office has food on it. It could all be in my head but damn it looks good. I'd slap somebody for a bag of popcorn and a cola...sounds good now but me with no floss and can't afford the calories so I guess everyone is safe. For now!
It's all about the numbers and mine were all good. 7.4 lbs this week for a total of 32.3 so far. More importantly my "other" numbers are even better. Blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol...all those things doctors like to watch especially when you are over 50 are all good. This not eating really does work.
At this rate I could be Twiggy size in a couple of months. It's going to be hard though, I do love a good summer BBQ. I may have to squeeze at least one in, shhh!
I am having a hungry day and I swear every desk I walk by in my office has food on it. It could all be in my head but damn it looks good. I'd slap somebody for a bag of popcorn and a cola...sounds good now but me with no floss and can't afford the calories so I guess everyone is safe. For now!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
MLWF Day 28
It the twenty eighth day in my life without food.
I love people's expressions when I tell them I've been fasting for four weeks. After they pick their jaws up off the floor they always ask lots of questions...what the, who the, how the...and the answers are always the same, it's for me, it's something I have to do and yes I eat, sort of.
People who don't have a severe weight problem don't really understand what it's like. Everyone has been so kind and worried about me but for someone who thinks about food every waking moment this sucks. It's not a bad thing, it just sucks. I know I have said this before but I miss cooking and even eating some of the time. But I will get through this just as planned and will be happier in the long run.
It's weigh day. If I could go in naked I would but I don't want people running and screaming from the clinic. I hope I've lost this week, I am feeling kind of huge today...and it's not even my time of the month.
I love people's expressions when I tell them I've been fasting for four weeks. After they pick their jaws up off the floor they always ask lots of questions...what the, who the, how the...and the answers are always the same, it's for me, it's something I have to do and yes I eat, sort of.
People who don't have a severe weight problem don't really understand what it's like. Everyone has been so kind and worried about me but for someone who thinks about food every waking moment this sucks. It's not a bad thing, it just sucks. I know I have said this before but I miss cooking and even eating some of the time. But I will get through this just as planned and will be happier in the long run.
It's weigh day. If I could go in naked I would but I don't want people running and screaming from the clinic. I hope I've lost this week, I am feeling kind of huge today...and it's not even my time of the month.
Monday, May 10, 2010
MLWF Day 27
This is the twenty seventh day in my life without food.
Wow what a weekend. My forearms are all bruised from the household purge which kept me very busy all weekend. I didn't have time to eat except for the planned substances.
My big cheat this weekend was having a couple of cocktails Saturday night and I was so hungover and sick on Sunday it hardly seemed worth it. Betty White was on SNL so I was in a party mood but not drinking for a few weeks seems to have made a big difference in how I can or can't drink the hard stuff...won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Feeling really focused today on the plan. Tomorrow is scale day and it's always amazing how focused I am the day before I get weighed. We shall see...
People always ask me how long I am going to be on this fast, how the heck should I know, I have a VERY long way to go is all I know. I am doing the best I can but anything I am doing (or not doing) is better than what it took to get me where I am today. Damn it!
Wow what a weekend. My forearms are all bruised from the household purge which kept me very busy all weekend. I didn't have time to eat except for the planned substances.
My big cheat this weekend was having a couple of cocktails Saturday night and I was so hungover and sick on Sunday it hardly seemed worth it. Betty White was on SNL so I was in a party mood but not drinking for a few weeks seems to have made a big difference in how I can or can't drink the hard stuff...won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Feeling really focused today on the plan. Tomorrow is scale day and it's always amazing how focused I am the day before I get weighed. We shall see...
People always ask me how long I am going to be on this fast, how the heck should I know, I have a VERY long way to go is all I know. I am doing the best I can but anything I am doing (or not doing) is better than what it took to get me where I am today. Damn it!
Friday, May 7, 2010
MLWF Day 24
This is the twenty fourth day in my life without food.
Yesterday was tough. First of all it was the longest day in the history of man and secondly I attended a community reception at my office in honor of Asian Heritage Month and of course they had every type of Asian food imaginable (most all of my faves) and wine too. I stood there with my little glass of cucumber water talking to clients and smiling while they ate a mountain of food off of their little cocktail plates. Not fun for me so I left.
The new porridge actually tastes pretty good. Scary enough it's called Nacho Cheese Pasta and while I am not sure where the soy ends and the pasta begins it reminds of when I was a kid and my grandmother made us chili-mac. Yes, most of my pleasant memories involve food, a shock I am sure.
The weekend is upon us and I plan on keeping really busy. We are in major purge mode so there is lots to do. Personally I plan on purging some pounds...but not using the binge and purge method (not this time anyway).
Yesterday was tough. First of all it was the longest day in the history of man and secondly I attended a community reception at my office in honor of Asian Heritage Month and of course they had every type of Asian food imaginable (most all of my faves) and wine too. I stood there with my little glass of cucumber water talking to clients and smiling while they ate a mountain of food off of their little cocktail plates. Not fun for me so I left.
The new porridge actually tastes pretty good. Scary enough it's called Nacho Cheese Pasta and while I am not sure where the soy ends and the pasta begins it reminds of when I was a kid and my grandmother made us chili-mac. Yes, most of my pleasant memories involve food, a shock I am sure.
The weekend is upon us and I plan on keeping really busy. We are in major purge mode so there is lots to do. Personally I plan on purging some pounds...but not using the binge and purge method (not this time anyway).
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
MLWF Day 22
This is the twenty second day in my life without food.
What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours... I am feeling much better today and thanks to all who sent words of encouragement and support. Some days good some days bad but still always a little hungry.
4 was the magic number this week which means (for those of you keeping score) I am down 23 pounds in 3 weeks.
Here is the funny thing, in our first class they told us that people lose an average of 4-5 pounds a week on the fast and all I care about is beating the average. I am such a numbers guy and my career has taught me to be extremely competitive so if I can beat the average I win, silly but it keeps me going...at least for now. I am losing almost 8 pounds a week so far...must keep it up!!!
Speaking of numbers, in fat people class last night they gave us a formula that you can use on a weekly basis to determine how much weight you will lose in a week. It's all about calories in and out through activity but I feel a spreadsheet coming on. Great, something else to obsess about.
Day one week four, one day at a time.
What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours... I am feeling much better today and thanks to all who sent words of encouragement and support. Some days good some days bad but still always a little hungry.
4 was the magic number this week which means (for those of you keeping score) I am down 23 pounds in 3 weeks.
Here is the funny thing, in our first class they told us that people lose an average of 4-5 pounds a week on the fast and all I care about is beating the average. I am such a numbers guy and my career has taught me to be extremely competitive so if I can beat the average I win, silly but it keeps me going...at least for now. I am losing almost 8 pounds a week so far...must keep it up!!!
Speaking of numbers, in fat people class last night they gave us a formula that you can use on a weekly basis to determine how much weight you will lose in a week. It's all about calories in and out through activity but I feel a spreadsheet coming on. Great, something else to obsess about.
Day one week four, one day at a time.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
MLWF Day 21
This is the twenty first day of my life without food.
I AM HUNGRY! Someone in my office sent out an email today regarding online "etiquette" saying that typing all in caps signifies yelling, duh. I AM HUNGRY damn it, get it?
Just finished my third week and by far it has been the hardest. I am bored with the supplements, tired of not eating, tired of missing a glass of wine when I want it...it's hard changing everything about everything you love.
I used to say going home at night and cooking dinner relaxed me from the stresses of the day, now what? Yes I know exercise is the answer and I should get another hobby but I think I am mourning the loss of something. I have to say I am feeling a little pissed off this week. I'll get over it but truth be told, fuck this!
Today is scale day followed by fat people class. I just love Tuesdays!
I AM HUNGRY! Someone in my office sent out an email today regarding online "etiquette" saying that typing all in caps signifies yelling, duh. I AM HUNGRY damn it, get it?
Just finished my third week and by far it has been the hardest. I am bored with the supplements, tired of not eating, tired of missing a glass of wine when I want it...it's hard changing everything about everything you love.
I used to say going home at night and cooking dinner relaxed me from the stresses of the day, now what? Yes I know exercise is the answer and I should get another hobby but I think I am mourning the loss of something. I have to say I am feeling a little pissed off this week. I'll get over it but truth be told, fuck this!
Today is scale day followed by fat people class. I just love Tuesdays!
Monday, May 3, 2010
MLWF Day 20
This is the twentieth day in my life without food.
I am not going to lie to you, the 3 day weekend was rough. But I did indeed keep myself pretty darn busy which helped but I wanted to sin and I mean sin big time.
Went to the gym on Saturday and met with the personal trainer and he tried to kill us. His warm up exercises were more exercises than I have done it 25 years. He had us skipping, yes skipping. If I weren't so determined to get this weight off I would have told him where he could stick those skip-to-my-lous, and I might still.
Tomorrow I face the scale again, these weeks really fly by. Not eating has it's perks, our grocery bill has dropped quite a bit. I still feel bad for my husband but he seems to be managing just fine.
Wish me luck tomorrow, I feel like I am going to need it this week.
I am not going to lie to you, the 3 day weekend was rough. But I did indeed keep myself pretty darn busy which helped but I wanted to sin and I mean sin big time.
Went to the gym on Saturday and met with the personal trainer and he tried to kill us. His warm up exercises were more exercises than I have done it 25 years. He had us skipping, yes skipping. If I weren't so determined to get this weight off I would have told him where he could stick those skip-to-my-lous, and I might still.
Tomorrow I face the scale again, these weeks really fly by. Not eating has it's perks, our grocery bill has dropped quite a bit. I still feel bad for my husband but he seems to be managing just fine.
Wish me luck tomorrow, I feel like I am going to need it this week.
Friday, April 30, 2010
MLWF Day 17
This is my seventeenth day in my life without food.
My friend keeps telling me I have to sweat, truth is before I started this process I could sit still and sweat, it wasn't pretty. However, she will be happy to know that I went to the gym last night and boy did I sweat. I feel good and I am able to be more active already. It's working...damn it!
The three day weekend is going well, I am only 2 and a half hours into it but so far so good. Because I have more energy I am ready to take on house projects and work in the garden. Coffee has a faster effect on me now and I've had two cups, don't give me a sledge hammer, walls could fall.
I have to stay focused today and stay busy. I am not sure what the day will bring but I will stay on track, a promise to me.
My friend keeps telling me I have to sweat, truth is before I started this process I could sit still and sweat, it wasn't pretty. However, she will be happy to know that I went to the gym last night and boy did I sweat. I feel good and I am able to be more active already. It's working...damn it!
The three day weekend is going well, I am only 2 and a half hours into it but so far so good. Because I have more energy I am ready to take on house projects and work in the garden. Coffee has a faster effect on me now and I've had two cups, don't give me a sledge hammer, walls could fall.
I have to stay focused today and stay busy. I am not sure what the day will bring but I will stay on track, a promise to me.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
MLWF Day 16
This is the sixteenth day in my life without food.
Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it is not. I am hungry most of the time so I just try to keep drinking my protein shakes every two hours. Sometimes I miss chewing.
I figure I am losing about a pound a day, I should be Twiggy thin by August. I should be able to make a dent in the local economy with all the clothes I am going to have to buy. My husband made a comment about how bad my suit looks that I wore today, I am buying not clothes until I drop at least half of what I am going for...hear that Hugo Boss?
I have a three day weekend this week, I have mixed emotions about it. Yes I enjoy the time off but not eating on the weekends is just hard I tell you. I plan on keeping myself busy busy, I have lots of projects lined up. Time will tell.
Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it is not. I am hungry most of the time so I just try to keep drinking my protein shakes every two hours. Sometimes I miss chewing.
I figure I am losing about a pound a day, I should be Twiggy thin by August. I should be able to make a dent in the local economy with all the clothes I am going to have to buy. My husband made a comment about how bad my suit looks that I wore today, I am buying not clothes until I drop at least half of what I am going for...hear that Hugo Boss?
I have a three day weekend this week, I have mixed emotions about it. Yes I enjoy the time off but not eating on the weekends is just hard I tell you. I plan on keeping myself busy busy, I have lots of projects lined up. Time will tell.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
MLWF Week 3
This is my fifteenth day in my life without food.
The scale said I lost 5 pounds last night so that's 19 pounds in two weeks. I guess this not eating thing might just work.
We calculated our BMI in fat people class last night. I guess I thought getting my BMI close to my age was a good thing but it turns out I'm just fat.
We started talking goal weight last night, anything less than I am now is good for me. I like that the clinic doesn't get a goal for you, it really is different for everyone and I just might not fit into a spreadsheet or a graph definition.
Today, my only goal is getting my waist size below 40, it's healthier and the clothes are much cuter.
I really don't know how long I am going to do this but for now it's working so I think I will take it week to week.
The scale said I lost 5 pounds last night so that's 19 pounds in two weeks. I guess this not eating thing might just work.
We calculated our BMI in fat people class last night. I guess I thought getting my BMI close to my age was a good thing but it turns out I'm just fat.
We started talking goal weight last night, anything less than I am now is good for me. I like that the clinic doesn't get a goal for you, it really is different for everyone and I just might not fit into a spreadsheet or a graph definition.
Today, my only goal is getting my waist size below 40, it's healthier and the clothes are much cuter.
I really don't know how long I am going to do this but for now it's working so I think I will take it week to week.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
MLWF Day 14
This is my fourteenth day in my life without food.
It's cold and rainy this morning, wouldn't a big o bowl of hot grits with butter be good. No, I think I'll have a chocolate protein shake instead. Welcome to the conversations inside my head. This was an easy one, sometimes there is a lot of shouting going on, it can get really loud in there.
Life is all about choices and at this moment in time I am making mostly good choices health wise. It can be exhausting though. It's kind of like bidding at an auction where you work so hard to get something you want and when you get it you hope you want it. I want this weight loss and more importantly I need it.
Tuesdays are the day of reckoning each week. It's scale time followed by fat people class. I always find these type of classes interesting for even though we are all there because we need to lose weight we all have different circumstances that got us there. Having done this many times before I am interested in seeing how this class develops.
The numbers will tell but I feel really good. That's what counts.
It's cold and rainy this morning, wouldn't a big o bowl of hot grits with butter be good. No, I think I'll have a chocolate protein shake instead. Welcome to the conversations inside my head. This was an easy one, sometimes there is a lot of shouting going on, it can get really loud in there.
Life is all about choices and at this moment in time I am making mostly good choices health wise. It can be exhausting though. It's kind of like bidding at an auction where you work so hard to get something you want and when you get it you hope you want it. I want this weight loss and more importantly I need it.
Tuesdays are the day of reckoning each week. It's scale time followed by fat people class. I always find these type of classes interesting for even though we are all there because we need to lose weight we all have different circumstances that got us there. Having done this many times before I am interested in seeing how this class develops.
The numbers will tell but I feel really good. That's what counts.
Monday, April 26, 2010
MLWF Day 13
This is the thirteenth day in my life without food.
I am trying to get myself mentally prepared for jumping on that scale tomorrow. I'm no sinner but I'm no saint either. That's all I'm going to say about that.
I decided it was time to start moving my fat ass (since I can't count walking to the kitchen as exercise any more) so we joined a gym. I have never been a gym rat kind of guy but once I get into the routine I am pretty good about keeping it up. Any exercise is better than the nothing I had been doing.
When does losing weight get any easier? Never, I've decided!
I am trying to get myself mentally prepared for jumping on that scale tomorrow. I'm no sinner but I'm no saint either. That's all I'm going to say about that.
I decided it was time to start moving my fat ass (since I can't count walking to the kitchen as exercise any more) so we joined a gym. I have never been a gym rat kind of guy but once I get into the routine I am pretty good about keeping it up. Any exercise is better than the nothing I had been doing.
When does losing weight get any easier? Never, I've decided!
Friday, April 23, 2010
MLWF Day 10
This is the tenth day in my life without food.
It's Friday! I always look forward to weekends but now I'm not sure. I used to think about what I was going to cook this weekend, what wine are we going to open, who are we having over for dinner, you get the picture. And now, I open a bag o protein and sip away. Not as glamorous but certainly better for my mid section.
My blood pressure is the lowest it's been since birth. Well maybe that's an exaggeration but it is much lower than when I started this process. Hum, I guess my body likes this plan, well good for it.
I am going to miss having that glass of wine tonight while watching Bill Maher, but I guess if you don't miss something you can't appreciate it when it comes back.
It's Friday! I always look forward to weekends but now I'm not sure. I used to think about what I was going to cook this weekend, what wine are we going to open, who are we having over for dinner, you get the picture. And now, I open a bag o protein and sip away. Not as glamorous but certainly better for my mid section.
My blood pressure is the lowest it's been since birth. Well maybe that's an exaggeration but it is much lower than when I started this process. Hum, I guess my body likes this plan, well good for it.
I am going to miss having that glass of wine tonight while watching Bill Maher, but I guess if you don't miss something you can't appreciate it when it comes back.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
MLWF Day 9
This is the ninth day in my life without food.
I made it through yet another social event without eating or drinking and this was a work event so drinking would have helped. Actually I really didn't mind and I never have a problem with passed appetizers unless I have the first one, which of course I did not.
My poor husband is having such a hard time without me cooking. We have been together for 10 years and I have been doing all the cooking because it's my thing. I love to cook. He did tell me this morning that he is down 5 pounds so while he is not enjoying my cooking his jeans might just fit better.
Not too hungry today and I had a nice walk at lunch. So far so good...damn it.
I made it through yet another social event without eating or drinking and this was a work event so drinking would have helped. Actually I really didn't mind and I never have a problem with passed appetizers unless I have the first one, which of course I did not.
My poor husband is having such a hard time without me cooking. We have been together for 10 years and I have been doing all the cooking because it's my thing. I love to cook. He did tell me this morning that he is down 5 pounds so while he is not enjoying my cooking his jeans might just fit better.
Not too hungry today and I had a nice walk at lunch. So far so good...damn it.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
MLWF Week 2
This is the eighth day in my life without food.
Week one 14 pounds. That's what the scale said anyway. This is the biggest one week loss in my weight loss history on any plan and there have been plenty. See what not eating food will do for you.
I have had blood drawn four times in the past week. I have to wear long sleeves so people don't think I am shooting up at work again. (kidding!) They really monitor you on this plan and I hope that makes all you skeptics happy, I'm really doing well.
In the past few days I have really noticed that my energy level seems to be picking up. I woke up this morning and told my husband that I am sleeping better too. I see movement in a positive direction but I know this is going to take time, what else have I got to do?
Tonight, another work function that will include libations and appetizers. I am not worried about it though, I will make an appearance and sneak out unnoticed, I am 14 pounds thinner after all.
Week one 14 pounds. That's what the scale said anyway. This is the biggest one week loss in my weight loss history on any plan and there have been plenty. See what not eating food will do for you.
I have had blood drawn four times in the past week. I have to wear long sleeves so people don't think I am shooting up at work again. (kidding!) They really monitor you on this plan and I hope that makes all you skeptics happy, I'm really doing well.
In the past few days I have really noticed that my energy level seems to be picking up. I woke up this morning and told my husband that I am sleeping better too. I see movement in a positive direction but I know this is going to take time, what else have I got to do?
Tonight, another work function that will include libations and appetizers. I am not worried about it though, I will make an appearance and sneak out unnoticed, I am 14 pounds thinner after all.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
MLWF Day 7
This is the seventh day in my life without food.
One week. It's been almost a full week since I started this journey. Today is the day I get weighed and sit through another class for fat people. Funny thing is we all know how to get fat, we all just need help getting to the thinner side of ourselves. Why is life so complicated?
I better have good news on that scale, damn it. I KNOW IT'S JUST A NUMBER but that was also a just bag of chips I didn't eat this week or just a glass of wine that I didn't drink, it really is all relative. What the scale says has always been important to me, sometimes I pay attention to the number and sometimes I don't. And that is why I am where I am today.
If I could change one thing in my life it would be how I deal with stress or stressful situations. Why can't I be one of those people who can't eat when they are upset? Well I'm not. I got what I got and once again I am paying for it. The price does seem to be going up as I get older, but what else is new.
I am beginning to feel like I have more energy and I think I am sleeping better, all good signs. Now let's so see what that number is...
One week. It's been almost a full week since I started this journey. Today is the day I get weighed and sit through another class for fat people. Funny thing is we all know how to get fat, we all just need help getting to the thinner side of ourselves. Why is life so complicated?
I better have good news on that scale, damn it. I KNOW IT'S JUST A NUMBER but that was also a just bag of chips I didn't eat this week or just a glass of wine that I didn't drink, it really is all relative. What the scale says has always been important to me, sometimes I pay attention to the number and sometimes I don't. And that is why I am where I am today.
If I could change one thing in my life it would be how I deal with stress or stressful situations. Why can't I be one of those people who can't eat when they are upset? Well I'm not. I got what I got and once again I am paying for it. The price does seem to be going up as I get older, but what else is new.
I am beginning to feel like I have more energy and I think I am sleeping better, all good signs. Now let's so see what that number is...
Monday, April 19, 2010
MLWF Day 6
This is my sixth in my life without food.
I made it through the weekend, WHEW! I am not going to say it was easy but I did it. I really really wanted my Sunday afternoon gin and tonic yesterday but I settled for diet tonic with lime instead. Not quite as satisfying but at least it felt like I was drinking a cocktail.
One more day until I am back on the scale, I hope this is working otherwise I am going to be extra extra cranky. Yes, more than I am now.
Everyone wants to know how long I am going to do this. I am not sure. The doctor says 4 to 6 months. I am really mulling this over but of course it's all going to depend on how well it works. I guess we shall see.
I miss food but I am not going to miss the weight.
I made it through the weekend, WHEW! I am not going to say it was easy but I did it. I really really wanted my Sunday afternoon gin and tonic yesterday but I settled for diet tonic with lime instead. Not quite as satisfying but at least it felt like I was drinking a cocktail.
One more day until I am back on the scale, I hope this is working otherwise I am going to be extra extra cranky. Yes, more than I am now.
Everyone wants to know how long I am going to do this. I am not sure. The doctor says 4 to 6 months. I am really mulling this over but of course it's all going to depend on how well it works. I guess we shall see.
I miss food but I am not going to miss the weight.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
MLWF Day 5
This is my fifth day in my life without food.
I did it! I spent the entire birthday party last night saying no thank you to a very attentive serving staff over and over and over again. AND I drank Pellegrino with lime all night...and it was F**KING hard.
Tempted by the sliders, micro tacos and of course fried risotto balls stuffed with cheese I said no. I could live on appetizers, no really, and yet I said no.
Then the buffet was served and OMG did it look fantastic. I sat and watched everyone eat while I sipped on my water which the serving staff kept full the entire evening. Everyone was so worried about eating in front of me like I was going to cry or something. Or maybe they thought if they looked away I would snatch something from my plate and don't think that didn't cross my mind.
We left before the cake, a man can only take so much.
Thanks to the host and hostess as well as my friends there for being so concerned, all is well, I'm just HUNGRY.
It's OK though, it's been a long time since I was actually hungry, it kind of feels good. It beats piling one meal on the next hungry or not.
The behavioral therapist from the weight clinic left me voicemail during the party, just checking in on me to see if I was doing OK. It's as if he knew I was staring at amazing food and longing for that glass of wine.
But I did it, I said no thanks.
I did it! I spent the entire birthday party last night saying no thank you to a very attentive serving staff over and over and over again. AND I drank Pellegrino with lime all night...and it was F**KING hard.
Tempted by the sliders, micro tacos and of course fried risotto balls stuffed with cheese I said no. I could live on appetizers, no really, and yet I said no.
Then the buffet was served and OMG did it look fantastic. I sat and watched everyone eat while I sipped on my water which the serving staff kept full the entire evening. Everyone was so worried about eating in front of me like I was going to cry or something. Or maybe they thought if they looked away I would snatch something from my plate and don't think that didn't cross my mind.
We left before the cake, a man can only take so much.
Thanks to the host and hostess as well as my friends there for being so concerned, all is well, I'm just HUNGRY.
It's OK though, it's been a long time since I was actually hungry, it kind of feels good. It beats piling one meal on the next hungry or not.
The behavioral therapist from the weight clinic left me voicemail during the party, just checking in on me to see if I was doing OK. It's as if he knew I was staring at amazing food and longing for that glass of wine.
But I did it, I said no thanks.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
MLWF Day 4
This is the fourth day of my life without food.
Busy day. Taking car in for service, last puppy training class, house guest still here and birthday party tonight, I hope to stay busy enough not to think about food so much today. Right!
It's interesting that I really have to THINK about not eating when eating seemed so thoughtless and carefree, oh, I guess that's part of the problem. For now I will pay attention to not eating. I have a feeling going forward I will be thinking about what I eat BEFORE I put it in my mouth, hum, there's a thought.
Back to that birthday party tonight, a preview, risotto balls and signature cocktails, it's going to be a rough night but I love my friend and want to help her celebrate her 40th. She knows I am not eating or drinking, it's all good.
Busy day. Taking car in for service, last puppy training class, house guest still here and birthday party tonight, I hope to stay busy enough not to think about food so much today. Right!
It's interesting that I really have to THINK about not eating when eating seemed so thoughtless and carefree, oh, I guess that's part of the problem. For now I will pay attention to not eating. I have a feeling going forward I will be thinking about what I eat BEFORE I put it in my mouth, hum, there's a thought.
Back to that birthday party tonight, a preview, risotto balls and signature cocktails, it's going to be a rough night but I love my friend and want to help her celebrate her 40th. She knows I am not eating or drinking, it's all good.
Friday, April 16, 2010
MLWF Day 3
It is the third day of my life without food.
It's Friday and I have to admit I am starting to feel better. Damn it. I was extremely tempted to cheat last night, what's one bite right? I didn't, I went to bed instead. Life is not too exciting right now but I can feel a change coming in my body already.
Who ever said nothing tastes as good as a size 6 or 36 for that matter was full of shit. However, I vow to stay focused and true to the plan.
This will be my first weekend on the fast and we have an out of town guest staying at our house and a 40th birthday party tomorrow night (catered I might add by a fabulous restaurant) so I will face a few challenges but this too shall pass.
I'll keep you updated!
It's Friday and I have to admit I am starting to feel better. Damn it. I was extremely tempted to cheat last night, what's one bite right? I didn't, I went to bed instead. Life is not too exciting right now but I can feel a change coming in my body already.
Who ever said nothing tastes as good as a size 6 or 36 for that matter was full of shit. However, I vow to stay focused and true to the plan.
This will be my first weekend on the fast and we have an out of town guest staying at our house and a 40th birthday party tomorrow night (catered I might add by a fabulous restaurant) so I will face a few challenges but this too shall pass.
I'll keep you updated!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
MLWF Day 2
This is the second day in my life without food.
So far so good. I haven't snapped at anyone (not counting the commute in this morning and the wacky Bay Area drivers) and I feel pretty good.
More motivation to continue, I went to the doctor's office this morning and it looks as if I might have pushed my luck just as far as I can, good thing I started this program is all I got to say.
Not missing food too much. It's not all liquid protein. There are freeze dried packets that resemble food when microwaved and it fulfills the fantasy of eating...well mostly.
Why does getting healthy have to be so yucky? I know it's good for me and I am up for it but GEEZ, can't I have more fun doing it? Apparently not.
So far so good. I haven't snapped at anyone (not counting the commute in this morning and the wacky Bay Area drivers) and I feel pretty good.
More motivation to continue, I went to the doctor's office this morning and it looks as if I might have pushed my luck just as far as I can, good thing I started this program is all I got to say.
Not missing food too much. It's not all liquid protein. There are freeze dried packets that resemble food when microwaved and it fulfills the fantasy of eating...well mostly.
Why does getting healthy have to be so yucky? I know it's good for me and I am up for it but GEEZ, can't I have more fun doing it? Apparently not.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
MLWF Day 1
Today is my first day in my life without food.
I am feeling very positive about my journey. Oh yeah, and I'm hungry already and it's not even noon yet.
I got up this morning had my protein shake, potassium supplement and Metamucil, yum! Actually the chocolate protein shake tasted pretty good, the potassium was yucky and the orange Metamucil ain't so bad. Now I just have to repeat this three times a day and I am all set.
Why is it when you are not eating or just not eating as much all you think about is food? I am starting to think everything on my desk looks edible and may be by the end of the day.
This is going to work, damn it!
I am feeling very positive about my journey. Oh yeah, and I'm hungry already and it's not even noon yet.
I got up this morning had my protein shake, potassium supplement and Metamucil, yum! Actually the chocolate protein shake tasted pretty good, the potassium was yucky and the orange Metamucil ain't so bad. Now I just have to repeat this three times a day and I am all set.
Why is it when you are not eating or just not eating as much all you think about is food? I am starting to think everything on my desk looks edible and may be by the end of the day.
This is going to work, damn it!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The Countdown "0"
Tomorrow I start my life without food.
I thought this day would come and I would be all excited to eat something fabulous one last time before I start my fast. Today I just feel like I am ready to go, ready to lose weight, ready to feel better, ready to improve my health overall.
It took me a very long time to come to this conclusion. This was not a snap decision, it's been coming on for a long long time. I actually checked into this program a couple of years ago and it scared the bejesus out of me so I decided I would try to lose weight on my own, well we can see how well that worked.
When I think about all the things I will be able to do soon, eating is starting to slide down the list. For me to say something like that is huge because I LOVE FOOD!
I thought this day would come and I would be all excited to eat something fabulous one last time before I start my fast. Today I just feel like I am ready to go, ready to lose weight, ready to feel better, ready to improve my health overall.
It took me a very long time to come to this conclusion. This was not a snap decision, it's been coming on for a long long time. I actually checked into this program a couple of years ago and it scared the bejesus out of me so I decided I would try to lose weight on my own, well we can see how well that worked.
When I think about all the things I will be able to do soon, eating is starting to slide down the list. For me to say something like that is huge because I LOVE FOOD!
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Countdown "1"
One day until my life without food.
What a busy few days it has been. I had lots going on to keep my mind off food and my plan starting in just hours from now. I did have time to say good bye to a few of my favorite foods, at least for now.
I made pizza Friday night, I do like pizza mainly because it's easy to make and I can put whatever I want on it. Good bye pizza pie.
Saturday I had McDonald's french fries, I couldn't leave without saying good bye, we've been friends for a very long time. Good bye damn good fries.
Sunday I said good bye to steak, I love a good steak and ok, meat in general. Good bye steak.
Tonight, pasta, I can't have a life without food without saying good bye to pasta, Italy would never speak to me again. Along with pasta let me say so long to pesto, brown butter garlic sauce, my all day cooked bolognese, you will all be missed.
I can't start this plan without also saying good bye to cheese (I thought you were my friend), pate and sliced baguette. Bye bye!
I am 99.9% ready to start my fast and I will be there 110% come Wednesday.
Some friends think I am crazy but most all have been extremely supportive, I love and thank them all.
What a busy few days it has been. I had lots going on to keep my mind off food and my plan starting in just hours from now. I did have time to say good bye to a few of my favorite foods, at least for now.
I made pizza Friday night, I do like pizza mainly because it's easy to make and I can put whatever I want on it. Good bye pizza pie.
Saturday I had McDonald's french fries, I couldn't leave without saying good bye, we've been friends for a very long time. Good bye damn good fries.
Sunday I said good bye to steak, I love a good steak and ok, meat in general. Good bye steak.
Tonight, pasta, I can't have a life without food without saying good bye to pasta, Italy would never speak to me again. Along with pasta let me say so long to pesto, brown butter garlic sauce, my all day cooked bolognese, you will all be missed.
I can't start this plan without also saying good bye to cheese (I thought you were my friend), pate and sliced baguette. Bye bye!
I am 99.9% ready to start my fast and I will be there 110% come Wednesday.
Some friends think I am crazy but most all have been extremely supportive, I love and thank them all.
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Countdown "4"
Four days until my life without food.
Went to orientation last night. It's becoming very real.
Blood work - check (ouch)
EKG - check (yes I have a heart)
Urinalysis - check (yuck)
Weight - check (ugly)
Height - check (not shrinking yet)
Physical exam - check (nice doctor, very supportive)
It was kind of funny, they even talked about when we meet on Tuesday for the "official" start of the program we can all share our "last meal". I don't know what I want for my last meal. I've been eating my last meal every day since I decided to go on this program.
Today I am going to the Giants opening day game with a client and you can bet there is a hot dog and a beer in my immediate future. I worry about how I am going to entertain clients while I work on this project, I guess I won't, at least at first. They may just have to entertain themselves.
Went to orientation last night. It's becoming very real.
Blood work - check (ouch)
EKG - check (yes I have a heart)
Urinalysis - check (yuck)
Weight - check (ugly)
Height - check (not shrinking yet)
Physical exam - check (nice doctor, very supportive)
It was kind of funny, they even talked about when we meet on Tuesday for the "official" start of the program we can all share our "last meal". I don't know what I want for my last meal. I've been eating my last meal every day since I decided to go on this program.
Today I am going to the Giants opening day game with a client and you can bet there is a hot dog and a beer in my immediate future. I worry about how I am going to entertain clients while I work on this project, I guess I won't, at least at first. They may just have to entertain themselves.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Countdown "5"
Five days until my life without food.
Today is orientation day, how exciting! Because I can't eat anything past 1pm today I am meeting a friend for lunch promptly at 12 noon. Why does it feel like my last meal? Oh well, we are eating Italian, what a way to go!
The program won't actually start until next Wednesday after they see if I am healthy enough not to eat. Doesn't that sound weird? I'm too fat but they have to see if I can fast to lose weight, seems ironic to me.
Must get new walking shoes, I feel a burst of exercising coming on. I have GOT to be more active, this slimy slug feeling is just not working for me.
Today is orientation day, how exciting! Because I can't eat anything past 1pm today I am meeting a friend for lunch promptly at 12 noon. Why does it feel like my last meal? Oh well, we are eating Italian, what a way to go!
The program won't actually start until next Wednesday after they see if I am healthy enough not to eat. Doesn't that sound weird? I'm too fat but they have to see if I can fast to lose weight, seems ironic to me.
Must get new walking shoes, I feel a burst of exercising coming on. I have GOT to be more active, this slimy slug feeling is just not working for me.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Countdown "6"
Six days until my life without food.
As I do when I am about to start a weight program, I start looking at food labels. Not that I don't look at them most of the time, now I really read them. Why do all my beloved foods have to have so many calories, grams of fat & sodium? Cause they taste good that's why!
I am starting to come to terms with the fact the I am starting on a life changing journey, again. I've taken this trip before but like a map you can never re-fold, things get out of hand and you just wad it up and cast it aside. If I pay attention to how I unfolded the map I can re-fold it, if I pay attention to what I put in my mouth I will be healthier.
Why don't I pay attention, I hope to figure that out this time. Boredom, anxiety and stress are not my friends. It's time to meet new friends.
As I do when I am about to start a weight program, I start looking at food labels. Not that I don't look at them most of the time, now I really read them. Why do all my beloved foods have to have so many calories, grams of fat & sodium? Cause they taste good that's why!
I am starting to come to terms with the fact the I am starting on a life changing journey, again. I've taken this trip before but like a map you can never re-fold, things get out of hand and you just wad it up and cast it aside. If I pay attention to how I unfolded the map I can re-fold it, if I pay attention to what I put in my mouth I will be healthier.
Why don't I pay attention, I hope to figure that out this time. Boredom, anxiety and stress are not my friends. It's time to meet new friends.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Countdown "7"
Seven days until my life without food.
It's becoming more real. I got my orientation letter over the weekend, I've been accepted into the program, what joy! How sad would it be to not be accepted into the program, what does a fat person do then?
The orientation session is in two days. Nothing to eat or drink past 1pm except water, tea or black coffee. I wonder what they feel about vodka?
"You will be having a electrocardiogram so do not wear a one piece garment such as a dress or a jumpsuit" No jumpsuit, now I have to rethink my wardrobe choice too damn it!
"You may bring one other person who will be willing to share this experience with you". Any volunteers?
It's becoming more real. I got my orientation letter over the weekend, I've been accepted into the program, what joy! How sad would it be to not be accepted into the program, what does a fat person do then?
The orientation session is in two days. Nothing to eat or drink past 1pm except water, tea or black coffee. I wonder what they feel about vodka?
"You will be having a electrocardiogram so do not wear a one piece garment such as a dress or a jumpsuit" No jumpsuit, now I have to rethink my wardrobe choice too damn it!
"You may bring one other person who will be willing to share this experience with you". Any volunteers?
Monday, April 5, 2010
The Countdown "8"
Eight days until my life without food.
I took a day off from blogging to eat. Not really, just a very busy day in the desert where we experienced the biggest earthquake we had ever experienced. My heart was just pounding as the condo creaked and groaned around us. And then I thought, if I had to run I probably couldn't, not in my current physical state anyway. Just another reason why I need to give up food for a while.
Eight more days to go, what food can I fit in between now and then? A good steak, maybe. A pizza, boring. Homemade fried chicken, possibly. No matter what I choose I will most likely eat too much of it. I'll try to be good but make no promises.
Now I have to worry about my husband. I can't cook for him while I am doing this program, I just can't get that close to real food. We are both looking forward to losing some weight but I feel guilty about not cooking for him, I really enjoy it.
It's a wonder I get anything done the way my mind races!
I took a day off from blogging to eat. Not really, just a very busy day in the desert where we experienced the biggest earthquake we had ever experienced. My heart was just pounding as the condo creaked and groaned around us. And then I thought, if I had to run I probably couldn't, not in my current physical state anyway. Just another reason why I need to give up food for a while.
Eight more days to go, what food can I fit in between now and then? A good steak, maybe. A pizza, boring. Homemade fried chicken, possibly. No matter what I choose I will most likely eat too much of it. I'll try to be good but make no promises.
Now I have to worry about my husband. I can't cook for him while I am doing this program, I just can't get that close to real food. We are both looking forward to losing some weight but I feel guilty about not cooking for him, I really enjoy it.
It's a wonder I get anything done the way my mind races!
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Countdown "10"
Ten days until my life without food.
So far so good. Woke up in the desert this morning and immediately made coffee and wondered what the hell is there to eat around here. I think about food a lot. I think I am just wired that way.
I don't think you understand how much I think about food. I can be eating breakfast and of course I am thinking what's for lunch, dinner, today, tomorrow and the next day.
So far so good. Woke up in the desert this morning and immediately made coffee and wondered what the hell is there to eat around here. I think about food a lot. I think I am just wired that way.
I don't think you understand how much I think about food. I can be eating breakfast and of course I am thinking what's for lunch, dinner, today, tomorrow and the next day.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Countdown "12"
Twelve days until my life without food.
Why is it when you travel your money becomes endless Monopoly money and everything you eat has no calories? We are headed to Southern California tonight and I am going to do my best not to eat & drink my way through Palm Springs.
Looking forward to a little R & R and I will use the time to get my head around what I am about to do. I am looking forward to being in PS and being able to hike up one of the mountain trails without feeling like my heart is going to pound it's way out of my chest.
Why is it when you travel your money becomes endless Monopoly money and everything you eat has no calories? We are headed to Southern California tonight and I am going to do my best not to eat & drink my way through Palm Springs.
Looking forward to a little R & R and I will use the time to get my head around what I am about to do. I am looking forward to being in PS and being able to hike up one of the mountain trails without feeling like my heart is going to pound it's way out of my chest.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Countdown "13"
Thirteen days until my life without food.
A Venti Americano with an inch and a half of steamed non-fat milk, that's what I get when I go to Starbucks, yum! My husband asked me this morning if I would be able to have coffee once I start my plan, OMG!!!, I had not thought of that and if I can't this is a warning to all, stay clear of me for a few weeks, it won't be pretty.
The panic hasn't set in yet, no hamburgers, no fries, OK. No pork chops or bacon or mayo, maybe a little panic is setting in.
I have 13 days, maybe I should take some time off to graze between now and then. No, probably a bad idea and looking at my waistline now I don't need time off from work to eat, I seem to be doing just fine.
A Venti Americano with an inch and a half of steamed non-fat milk, that's what I get when I go to Starbucks, yum! My husband asked me this morning if I would be able to have coffee once I start my plan, OMG!!!, I had not thought of that and if I can't this is a warning to all, stay clear of me for a few weeks, it won't be pretty.
The panic hasn't set in yet, no hamburgers, no fries, OK. No pork chops or bacon or mayo, maybe a little panic is setting in.
I have 13 days, maybe I should take some time off to graze between now and then. No, probably a bad idea and looking at my waistline now I don't need time off from work to eat, I seem to be doing just fine.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Countdown "14"
Fourteen days until my life without food.
My sister asked me this morning if I was scared about my decision to give up food for a while, I hadn't really thought about it in those terms, in my true fashion, I just want it to be over.
I have been on a diet since birth. No really. I've done Weight Watchers (Lifetime Member). I did fen-phen (LOVED it!). I've tried many, many other ways to lose weight even the Karen Carpenter method. You are probably saying, "it's a lifestyle change", well no kidding, I KNOW THAT! It's just that the logical side of my brain and the food loving side of my brain fight like a MF all the time and guess who wins more often...you guessed it.
I'm just tired, all the time. I'm tired of being tired. I'm only 51 and I want to feel better and more energetic. It's time.
Finally, I'm tired of shopping at the Hefty Hideaway for all my clothes, I would LOVE to buy something off the rack and have it fit just right. Hugo Boss here I come.
My sister asked me this morning if I was scared about my decision to give up food for a while, I hadn't really thought about it in those terms, in my true fashion, I just want it to be over.
I have been on a diet since birth. No really. I've done Weight Watchers (Lifetime Member). I did fen-phen (LOVED it!). I've tried many, many other ways to lose weight even the Karen Carpenter method. You are probably saying, "it's a lifestyle change", well no kidding, I KNOW THAT! It's just that the logical side of my brain and the food loving side of my brain fight like a MF all the time and guess who wins more often...you guessed it.
I'm just tired, all the time. I'm tired of being tired. I'm only 51 and I want to feel better and more energetic. It's time.
Finally, I'm tired of shopping at the Hefty Hideaway for all my clothes, I would LOVE to buy something off the rack and have it fit just right. Hugo Boss here I come.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Preparation
I do this every time, in the weeks leading up to a weight loss self imposed intervention I eat everything in sight. It's kind of like when you stop cleaning your house because you are moving, who cares right?
I am really trying to be a little more positive this time and not go too crazy but the thought of my faves going away puts the fear of loss right up front. I wish I hated food but I don't and probably never will.
I am really trying to be a little more positive this time and not go too crazy but the thought of my faves going away puts the fear of loss right up front. I wish I hated food but I don't and probably never will.
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