MLWF Day 74

This is the seventy fourth day in my life without food.

Boy have things slowed down with my weight loss. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is just what happens when I get to a certain level of weight lost. The scale said 1.5 pounds lost this week and while my "line" is at least it was down and not up I was still a little disappointed. I did it to myself but things are going to change.

I have been very focused this week and it's not been easy. After so many weeks working on "the project" it is hard to stay focused and really really hard not to fall back into old habits. That's true especially as summer unfolds and things become more social. I am not going to stop going to or having dinner parties but I really have to keep things under control and balanced. Staying strong is not easy, it's much easier to just say fuck it, I'll start again tomorrow.

The trouble is I've had a lifetime of starting again tomorrows and someday I won't have that chance. As hard as it is and as much as I wish I didn't have to worry about my weight I do, it's just part of life for me.

People that have never had a weight problem probably won't understand this. What I do know is that everyone is hooked on something, for me it's food and wine. Life can be so cruel.