MLWF Day 17

This is my seventeenth day in my life without food.

My friend keeps telling me I have to sweat, truth is before I started this process I could sit still and sweat, it wasn't pretty. However, she will be happy to know that I went to the gym last night and boy did I sweat. I feel good and I am able to be more active already. It's working...damn it!

The three day weekend is going well, I am only 2 and a half hours into it but so far so good. Because I have more energy I am ready to take on house projects and work in the garden. Coffee has a faster effect on me now and I've had two cups, don't give me a sledge hammer, walls could fall.

I have to stay focused today and stay busy. I am not sure what the day will bring but I will stay on track, a promise to me.

MLWF Day 16

This is the sixteenth day in my life without food.

Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it is not. I am hungry most of the time so I just try to keep drinking my protein shakes every two hours. Sometimes I miss chewing.

I figure I am losing about a pound a day, I should be Twiggy thin by August. I should be able to make a dent in the local economy with all the clothes I am going to have to buy. My husband made a comment about how bad my suit looks that I wore today, I am buying not clothes until I drop at least half of what I am going for...hear that Hugo Boss?

I have a three day weekend this week, I have mixed emotions about it. Yes I enjoy the time off but not eating on the weekends is just hard I tell you. I plan on keeping myself busy busy, I have lots of projects lined up. Time will tell.

MLWF Week 3

This is my fifteenth day in my life without food.

The scale said I lost 5 pounds last night so that's 19 pounds in two weeks. I guess this not eating thing might just work.

We calculated our BMI in fat people class last night. I guess I thought getting my BMI close to my age was a good thing but it turns out I'm just fat.

We started talking goal weight last night, anything less than I am now is good for me. I like that the clinic doesn't get a goal for you, it really is different for everyone and I just might not fit into a spreadsheet or a graph definition.

Today, my only goal is getting my waist size below 40, it's healthier and the clothes are much cuter.

I really don't know how long I am going to do this but for now it's working so I think I will take it week to week.

MLWF Day 14

This is my fourteenth day in my life without food.

It's cold and rainy this morning, wouldn't a big o bowl of hot grits with butter be good. No, I think I'll have a chocolate protein shake instead. Welcome to the conversations inside my head. This was an easy one, sometimes there is a lot of shouting going on, it can get really loud in there.

Life is all about choices and at this moment in time I am making mostly good choices health wise. It can be exhausting though. It's kind of like bidding at an auction where you work so hard to get something you want and when you get it you hope you want it. I want this weight loss and more importantly I need it.

Tuesdays are the day of reckoning each week. It's scale time followed by fat people class. I always find these type of classes interesting for even though we are all there because we need to lose weight we all have different circumstances that got us there. Having done this many times before I am interested in seeing how this class develops.

The numbers will tell but I feel really good. That's what counts.

MLWF Day 13

This is the thirteenth day in my life without food.

I am trying to get myself mentally prepared for jumping on that scale tomorrow. I'm no sinner but I'm no saint either. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I decided it was time to start moving my fat ass (since I can't count walking to the kitchen as exercise any more) so we joined a gym. I have never been a gym rat kind of guy but once I get into the routine I am pretty good about keeping it up. Any exercise is better than the nothing I had been doing.

When does losing weight get any easier? Never, I've decided!

MLWF Day 10

This is the tenth day in my life without food.

It's Friday! I always look forward to weekends but now I'm not sure. I used to think about what I was going to cook this weekend, what wine are we going to open, who are we having over for dinner, you get the picture. And now, I open a bag o protein and sip away. Not as glamorous but certainly better for my mid section.

My blood pressure is the lowest it's been since birth. Well maybe that's an exaggeration but it is much lower than when I started this process. Hum, I guess my body likes this plan, well good for it.

I am going to miss having that glass of wine tonight while watching Bill Maher, but I guess if you don't miss something you can't appreciate it when it comes back.

MLWF Day 9

This is the ninth day in my life without food.

I made it through yet another social event without eating or drinking and this was a work event so drinking would have helped. Actually I really didn't mind and I never have a problem with passed appetizers unless I have the first one, which of course I did not.

My poor husband is having such a hard time without me cooking. We have been together for 10 years and I have been doing all the cooking because it's my thing. I love to cook. He did tell me this morning that he is down 5 pounds so while he is not enjoying my cooking his jeans might just fit better.

Not too hungry today and I had a nice walk at lunch. So far so good...damn it.

MLWF Week 2

This is the eighth day in my life without food.

Week one 14 pounds. That's what the scale said anyway. This is the biggest one week loss in my weight loss history on any plan and there have been plenty. See what not eating food will do for you.

I have had blood drawn four times in the past week. I have to wear long sleeves so people don't think I am shooting up at work again. (kidding!) They really monitor you on this plan and I hope that makes all you skeptics happy, I'm really doing well.

In the past few days I have really noticed that my energy level seems to be picking up. I woke up this morning and told my husband that I am sleeping better too. I see movement in a positive direction but I know this is going to take time, what else have I got to do?

Tonight, another work function that will include libations and appetizers. I am not worried about it though, I will make an appearance and sneak out unnoticed, I am 14 pounds thinner after all.

MLWF Day 7

This is the seventh day in my life without food.

One week. It's been almost a full week since I started this journey. Today is the day I get weighed and sit through another class for fat people. Funny thing is we all know how to get fat, we all just need help getting to the thinner side of ourselves. Why is life so complicated?

I better have good news on that scale, damn it. I KNOW IT'S JUST A NUMBER but that was also a just bag of chips I didn't eat this week or just a glass of wine that I didn't drink, it really is all relative. What the scale says has always been important to me, sometimes I pay attention to the number and sometimes I don't. And that is why I am where I am today.

If I could change one thing in my life it would be how I deal with stress or stressful situations. Why can't I be one of those people who can't eat when they are upset? Well I'm not. I got what I got and once again I am paying for it. The price does seem to be going up as I get older, but what else is new.

I am beginning to feel like I have more energy and I think I am sleeping better, all good signs. Now let's so see what that number is...

MLWF Day 6

This is my sixth in my life without food.

I made it through the weekend, WHEW! I am not going to say it was easy but I did it. I really really wanted my Sunday afternoon gin and tonic yesterday but I settled for diet tonic with lime instead. Not quite as satisfying but at least it felt like I was drinking a cocktail.

One more day until I am back on the scale, I hope this is working otherwise I am going to be extra extra cranky. Yes, more than I am now.

Everyone wants to know how long I am going to do this. I am not sure. The doctor says 4 to 6 months. I am really mulling this over but of course it's all going to depend on how well it works. I guess we shall see.

I miss food but I am not going to miss the weight.

MLWF Day 5

This is my fifth day in my life without food.

I did it! I spent the entire birthday party last night saying no thank you to a very attentive serving staff over and over and over again. AND I drank Pellegrino with lime all night...and it was F**KING hard.

Tempted by the sliders, micro tacos and of course fried risotto balls stuffed with cheese I said no. I could live on appetizers, no really, and yet I said no.

Then the buffet was served and OMG did it look fantastic. I sat and watched everyone eat while I sipped on my water which the serving staff kept full the entire evening. Everyone was so worried about eating in front of me like I was going to cry or something. Or maybe they thought if they looked away I would snatch something from my plate and don't think that didn't cross my mind.

We left before the cake, a man can only take so much.

Thanks to the host and hostess as well as my friends there for being so concerned, all is well, I'm just HUNGRY.

It's OK though, it's been a long time since I was actually hungry, it kind of feels good. It beats piling one meal on the next hungry or not.

The behavioral therapist from the weight clinic left me voicemail during the party, just checking in on me to see if I was doing OK. It's as if he knew I was staring at amazing food and longing for that glass of wine.

But I did it, I said no thanks.

MLWF Day 4

This is the fourth day of my life without food.

Busy day. Taking car in for service, last puppy training class, house guest still here and birthday party tonight, I hope to stay busy enough not to think about food so much today. Right!

It's interesting that I really have to THINK about not eating when eating seemed so thoughtless and carefree, oh, I guess that's part of the problem. For now I will pay attention to not eating. I have a feeling going forward I will be thinking about what I eat BEFORE I put it in my mouth, hum, there's a thought.

Back to that birthday party tonight, a preview, risotto balls and signature cocktails, it's going to be a rough night but I love my friend and want to help her celebrate her 40th. She knows I am not eating or drinking, it's all good.

MLWF Day 3

It is the third day of my life without food.

It's Friday and I have to admit I am starting to feel better. Damn it. I was extremely tempted to cheat last night, what's one bite right? I didn't, I went to bed instead. Life is not too exciting right now but I can feel a change coming in my body already.

Who ever said nothing tastes as good as a size 6 or 36 for that matter was full of shit. However, I vow to stay focused and true to the plan.

This will be my first weekend on the fast and we have an out of town guest staying at our house and a 40th birthday party tomorrow night (catered I might add by a fabulous restaurant) so I will face a few challenges but this too shall pass.

I'll keep you updated!

MLWF Day 2

This is the second day in my life without food.

So far so good. I haven't snapped at anyone (not counting the commute in this morning and the wacky Bay Area drivers) and I feel pretty good.

More motivation to continue, I went to the doctor's office this morning and it looks as if I might have pushed my luck just as far as I can, good thing I started this program is all I got to say.

Not missing food too much. It's not all liquid protein. There are freeze dried packets that resemble food when microwaved and it fulfills the fantasy of eating...well mostly.

Why does getting healthy have to be so yucky? I know it's good for me and I am up for it but GEEZ, can't I have more fun doing it? Apparently not.

MLWF Day 1

Today is my first day in my life without food.

I am feeling very positive about my journey. Oh yeah, and I'm hungry already and it's not even noon yet.

I got up this morning had my protein shake, potassium supplement and Metamucil, yum! Actually the chocolate protein shake tasted pretty good, the potassium was yucky and the orange Metamucil ain't so bad. Now I just have to repeat this three times a day and I am all set.

Why is it when you are not eating or just not eating as much all you think about is food? I am starting to think everything on my desk looks edible and may be by the end of the day.

This is going to work, damn it!

The Countdown "0"

Tomorrow I start my life without food.

I thought this day would come and I would be all excited to eat something fabulous one last time before I start my fast. Today I just feel like I am ready to go, ready to lose weight, ready to feel better, ready to improve my health overall.

It took me a very long time to come to this conclusion. This was not a snap decision, it's been coming on for a long long time. I actually checked into this program a couple of years ago and it scared the bejesus out of me so I decided I would try to lose weight on my own, well we can see how well that worked.

When I think about all the things I will be able to do soon, eating is starting to slide down the list. For me to say something like that is huge because I LOVE FOOD!

The Countdown "1"

One day until my life without food.

What a busy few days it has been. I had lots going on to keep my mind off food and my plan starting in just hours from now. I did have time to say good bye to a few of my favorite foods, at least for now.

I made pizza Friday night, I do like pizza mainly because it's easy to make and I can put whatever I want on it. Good bye pizza pie.

Saturday I had McDonald's french fries, I couldn't leave without saying good bye, we've been friends for a very long time. Good bye damn good fries.

Sunday I said good bye to steak, I love a good steak and ok, meat in general. Good bye steak.

Tonight, pasta, I can't have a life without food without saying good bye to pasta, Italy would never speak to me again. Along with pasta let me say so long to pesto, brown butter garlic sauce, my all day cooked bolognese, you will all be missed.

I can't start this plan without also saying good bye to cheese (I thought you were my friend), pate and sliced baguette. Bye bye!

I am 99.9% ready to start my fast and I will be there 110% come Wednesday.

Some friends think I am crazy but most all have been extremely supportive, I love and thank them all.

The Countdown "4"

Four days until my life without food.

Went to orientation last night. It's becoming very real.

Blood work - check (ouch)
EKG - check (yes I have a heart)
Urinalysis - check (yuck)
Weight - check (ugly)
Height - check (not shrinking yet)
Physical exam - check (nice doctor, very supportive)

It was kind of funny, they even talked about when we meet on Tuesday for the "official" start of the program we can all share our "last meal". I don't know what I want for my last meal. I've been eating my last meal every day since I decided to go on this program.

Today I am going to the Giants opening day game with a client and you can bet there is a hot dog and a beer in my immediate future. I worry about how I am going to entertain clients while I work on this project, I guess I won't, at least at first. They may just have to entertain themselves.

The Countdown "5"

Five days until my life without food.

Today is orientation day, how exciting! Because I can't eat anything past 1pm today I am meeting a friend for lunch promptly at 12 noon. Why does it feel like my last meal? Oh well, we are eating Italian, what a way to go!

The program won't actually start until next Wednesday after they see if I am healthy enough not to eat. Doesn't that sound weird? I'm too fat but they have to see if I can fast to lose weight, seems ironic to me.

Must get new walking shoes, I feel a burst of exercising coming on. I have GOT to be more active, this slimy slug feeling is just not working for me.

The Countdown "6"

Six days until my life without food.

As I do when I am about to start a weight program, I start looking at food labels. Not that I don't look at them most of the time, now I really read them. Why do all my beloved foods have to have so many calories, grams of fat & sodium? Cause they taste good that's why!

I am starting to come to terms with the fact the I am starting on a life changing journey, again. I've taken this trip before but like a map you can never re-fold, things get out of hand and you just wad it up and cast it aside. If I pay attention to how I unfolded the map I can re-fold it, if I pay attention to what I put in my mouth I will be healthier.

Why don't I pay attention, I hope to figure that out this time. Boredom, anxiety and stress are not my friends. It's time to meet new friends.

The Countdown "7"

Seven days until my life without food.

It's becoming more real. I got my orientation letter over the weekend, I've been accepted into the program, what joy! How sad would it be to not be accepted into the program, what does a fat person do then?

The orientation session is in two days. Nothing to eat or drink past 1pm except water, tea or black coffee. I wonder what they feel about vodka?

"You will be having a electrocardiogram so do not wear a one piece garment such as a dress or a jumpsuit" No jumpsuit, now I have to rethink my wardrobe choice too damn it!

"You may bring one other person who will be willing to share this experience with you". Any volunteers?

The Countdown "8"

Eight days until my life without food.

I took a day off from blogging to eat. Not really, just a very busy day in the desert where we experienced the biggest earthquake we had ever experienced. My heart was just pounding as the condo creaked and groaned around us. And then I thought, if I had to run I probably couldn't, not in my current physical state anyway. Just another reason why I need to give up food for a while.

Eight more days to go, what food can I fit in between now and then? A good steak, maybe. A pizza, boring. Homemade fried chicken, possibly. No matter what I choose I will most likely eat too much of it. I'll try to be good but make no promises.

Now I have to worry about my husband. I can't cook for him while I am doing this program, I just can't get that close to real food. We are both looking forward to losing some weight but I feel guilty about not cooking for him, I really enjoy it.

It's a wonder I get anything done the way my mind races!

The Countdown "10"

Ten days until my life without food.

So far so good. Woke up in the desert this morning and immediately made coffee and wondered what the hell is there to eat around here. I think about food a lot. I think I am just wired that way.

I don't think you understand how much I think about food. I can be eating breakfast and of course I am thinking what's for lunch, dinner, today, tomorrow and the next day.

The Countdown "12"

Twelve days until my life without food.

Why is it when you travel your money becomes endless Monopoly money and everything you eat has no calories? We are headed to Southern California tonight and I am going to do my best not to eat & drink my way through Palm Springs.

Looking forward to a little R & R and I will use the time to get my head around what I am about to do. I am looking forward to being in PS and being able to hike up one of the mountain trails without feeling like my heart is going to pound it's way out of my chest.