This is the eightieth day in my life without food.
I'm better. I'm back down to where I was Monday morning and officially in fat class the scale said I was down another 2 lbs. which just puts me a smidge under 50 lbs lost. OK, so I know it's only been 11 weeks and I've lost almost 50 lbs but it's not getting any easier and I am not the most patient person in the world but I also know I have to take this day by day.
Yesterday was not a good day. I'm allowed to have melt down days too it's just a little harder when times are tough and I don't have food to turn to. My favorite foods have always been my stand by friend and now they are not. Food has abandoned me or have I abandoned food.
In fat class now they are teaching us how to calculate calories by sight using what they call anchor points. Food labels are always helpful when you have them and they are correct but what do you do when eating in a restaurant? Shopping at the farmers market? Dinner party? Did you know an ounce of pizza is only 100 calories? Who the hell only eats an ounce of pizza? Ah, I learn the darnedest things in fat class.
Working week 12 now, I'll do the best I can do considering it's a holiday weekend and we are traveling. I guess the scale will tell.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
MLWF Week 11
This is the eleventh week in my life without food.
I'm stuck! I am at that usual place in a weight loss program where my loss has slowed down and bounces up and down a little. It's too soon for that to happen so now I have to triple my efforts I guess. It was so easy to gain all this weight why can't losing it be easier?
I am also getting bored with the program which is never good for me. Eating the same thing everyday gets really really boring, unless there is pork involved of course. But as you know there is no pork involved and it is what it is...porkless.
Yesterday the scale at home said I gained 7 lbs. from before work until I got home. I had an OK day yesterday but it wasn't THAT good. WTF body? Let's take this in a different direction and NOW would be good.
It's scale day followed by fat class. My Tuesdays have never been so exciting.
Sorry if I seem bitchy and dismal today, maybe it's my time of the month.
I'm stuck! I am at that usual place in a weight loss program where my loss has slowed down and bounces up and down a little. It's too soon for that to happen so now I have to triple my efforts I guess. It was so easy to gain all this weight why can't losing it be easier?
I am also getting bored with the program which is never good for me. Eating the same thing everyday gets really really boring, unless there is pork involved of course. But as you know there is no pork involved and it is what it is...porkless.
Yesterday the scale at home said I gained 7 lbs. from before work until I got home. I had an OK day yesterday but it wasn't THAT good. WTF body? Let's take this in a different direction and NOW would be good.
It's scale day followed by fat class. My Tuesdays have never been so exciting.
Sorry if I seem bitchy and dismal today, maybe it's my time of the month.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
MLWF Day 74
This is the seventy fourth day in my life without food.
Boy have things slowed down with my weight loss. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is just what happens when I get to a certain level of weight lost. The scale said 1.5 pounds lost this week and while my "line" is at least it was down and not up I was still a little disappointed. I did it to myself but things are going to change.
I have been very focused this week and it's not been easy. After so many weeks working on "the project" it is hard to stay focused and really really hard not to fall back into old habits. That's true especially as summer unfolds and things become more social. I am not going to stop going to or having dinner parties but I really have to keep things under control and balanced. Staying strong is not easy, it's much easier to just say fuck it, I'll start again tomorrow.
The trouble is I've had a lifetime of starting again tomorrows and someday I won't have that chance. As hard as it is and as much as I wish I didn't have to worry about my weight I do, it's just part of life for me.
People that have never had a weight problem probably won't understand this. What I do know is that everyone is hooked on something, for me it's food and wine. Life can be so cruel.
Boy have things slowed down with my weight loss. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is just what happens when I get to a certain level of weight lost. The scale said 1.5 pounds lost this week and while my "line" is at least it was down and not up I was still a little disappointed. I did it to myself but things are going to change.
I have been very focused this week and it's not been easy. After so many weeks working on "the project" it is hard to stay focused and really really hard not to fall back into old habits. That's true especially as summer unfolds and things become more social. I am not going to stop going to or having dinner parties but I really have to keep things under control and balanced. Staying strong is not easy, it's much easier to just say fuck it, I'll start again tomorrow.
The trouble is I've had a lifetime of starting again tomorrows and someday I won't have that chance. As hard as it is and as much as I wish I didn't have to worry about my weight I do, it's just part of life for me.
People that have never had a weight problem probably won't understand this. What I do know is that everyone is hooked on something, for me it's food and wine. Life can be so cruel.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
MLWF Day 66
This is the sixty sixth day in my life without food.
Usually when my husband is out of town I take the opportunity to eat the things he doesn't like to eat or eat the things I don't want him to know I eat...you know KFC and such. Times have changed, none of that foolery has been going on this week. Not that I haven't thought about it. Now I'm too far "in" to make a drastically wrong turns that I am sure to regret on the scale next week. Damn it!
I am really getting tired of eating the same thing every day but I operate better when I have strict "rules" to follow. Measured meals work better for someone who is portion control challenged. Why go for seconds when you can save time by getting all the food up front, oh yeah, that's how I got fat.
One more night eating dinner alone, I think I'll make it but if not tomorrow is another day. I've stopped beating myself up about food, it is what it is and I know what to do should I suffer from over fork usage, lie! Not really, I'm doing the best I can and it's working, I can't ask for anything better than that.
Usually when my husband is out of town I take the opportunity to eat the things he doesn't like to eat or eat the things I don't want him to know I eat...you know KFC and such. Times have changed, none of that foolery has been going on this week. Not that I haven't thought about it. Now I'm too far "in" to make a drastically wrong turns that I am sure to regret on the scale next week. Damn it!
I am really getting tired of eating the same thing every day but I operate better when I have strict "rules" to follow. Measured meals work better for someone who is portion control challenged. Why go for seconds when you can save time by getting all the food up front, oh yeah, that's how I got fat.
One more night eating dinner alone, I think I'll make it but if not tomorrow is another day. I've stopped beating myself up about food, it is what it is and I know what to do should I suffer from over fork usage, lie! Not really, I'm doing the best I can and it's working, I can't ask for anything better than that.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
MLWF Day 65
This is the sixty fifth day in my life without food.
Well I'll be damned, I lost 3.6 lbs. this week, totally not expecting that. That's about 43.6 total having recovered from my little vacation weight gain. I'm happy.
Interesting that the topic in fat class last night was "failure recovery" or what happens after you eat that bag of chips. Again, nothing that I haven't heard before (if you fall off get back on sort of stuff) but it's always nice to hear other people with the same point of few having the same issues. That's why we have fat class I guess.
Did you know that one Krispy Kreme donut has 250 calories? No one eats just one and that adds up quickly. Did you know it takes some 87,000 calories to gain 25 lbs.? It doesn't take that make donuts, chips, glasses of wine to add up to that 87k, here we are right back to mindful eating. The "fat guru's" point was if you want to or need to eat a Snickers bar everyday (regular size not super size) just eat it, but make sure you count it in your total for the day. Sounds simple doesn't it, so why isn't it?
I'm moving forward, not telling what the next few weeks or months will bring but I am just doing the best I can.
Well I'll be damned, I lost 3.6 lbs. this week, totally not expecting that. That's about 43.6 total having recovered from my little vacation weight gain. I'm happy.
Interesting that the topic in fat class last night was "failure recovery" or what happens after you eat that bag of chips. Again, nothing that I haven't heard before (if you fall off get back on sort of stuff) but it's always nice to hear other people with the same point of few having the same issues. That's why we have fat class I guess.
Did you know that one Krispy Kreme donut has 250 calories? No one eats just one and that adds up quickly. Did you know it takes some 87,000 calories to gain 25 lbs.? It doesn't take that make donuts, chips, glasses of wine to add up to that 87k, here we are right back to mindful eating. The "fat guru's" point was if you want to or need to eat a Snickers bar everyday (regular size not super size) just eat it, but make sure you count it in your total for the day. Sounds simple doesn't it, so why isn't it?
I'm moving forward, not telling what the next few weeks or months will bring but I am just doing the best I can.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
MLWF Day 64
This is the sixty fourth day in my life without food.
This is also the time in the program where my weight loss slows down dramatically. It happens every time I try to lose weight and now comes the hard part. I could get very discouraged and say fuck it, but I think I am going to stick it out, it can only be good for me.
It's Tuesday so it's weigh day and fat class, imagine having something so exciting to look forward to after work. I guess the scale will tell all.
I am doing my best to remain focused and in line, not the line at In & Out Burger but the line I have to walk, the healthy one. Sometimes I feel like fun is over in my life, I just have to find different fun that doesn't include food and wine. Where are you fun? You've got to be out there.
This is also the time in the program where my weight loss slows down dramatically. It happens every time I try to lose weight and now comes the hard part. I could get very discouraged and say fuck it, but I think I am going to stick it out, it can only be good for me.
It's Tuesday so it's weigh day and fat class, imagine having something so exciting to look forward to after work. I guess the scale will tell all.
I am doing my best to remain focused and in line, not the line at In & Out Burger but the line I have to walk, the healthy one. Sometimes I feel like fun is over in my life, I just have to find different fun that doesn't include food and wine. Where are you fun? You've got to be out there.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
MLWF Day 59
This is the fifty ninth day in my life without food.
In fat class this week they handed us our charts and the doctor who runs the place went through them page by page. Kind of boring stuff but good information if your numbers have been out of whack as mine have been for some time. It's was interesting sitting in a class of fat people all with a blank stares on their face has Dr. Sunshine (as I call her) goes on very seriously about the numbers. She spoke as if she knew we wouldn't understand doctor speak, people know more than most doctors think they do.
They discontinued a lot of the "food" options this week especially the ones that don't sell very well. By the way some people acted you would think they were ripping food right out of their hands. The stuff they got rid of tasted like crap anyway...but I guess not to everyone. Some of them were going to get together to buy of the remaining cases of their faves, everyone has to be addicted to something I guess.
This week one of my best friends mentioned me on her TV show when she paid homage to my fried chicken saying it was the best she had every had. She said this to the owner/chef of one of the best restaurants in SF, the Foreign Cinema. Funny isn't it, I can't eat real food but I'm know for my fried chicken, ain't life weird.
In fat class this week they handed us our charts and the doctor who runs the place went through them page by page. Kind of boring stuff but good information if your numbers have been out of whack as mine have been for some time. It's was interesting sitting in a class of fat people all with a blank stares on their face has Dr. Sunshine (as I call her) goes on very seriously about the numbers. She spoke as if she knew we wouldn't understand doctor speak, people know more than most doctors think they do.
They discontinued a lot of the "food" options this week especially the ones that don't sell very well. By the way some people acted you would think they were ripping food right out of their hands. The stuff they got rid of tasted like crap anyway...but I guess not to everyone. Some of them were going to get together to buy of the remaining cases of their faves, everyone has to be addicted to something I guess.
This week one of my best friends mentioned me on her TV show when she paid homage to my fried chicken saying it was the best she had every had. She said this to the owner/chef of one of the best restaurants in SF, the Foreign Cinema. Funny isn't it, I can't eat real food but I'm know for my fried chicken, ain't life weird.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
MLWF Day 58
This is the fifty eighth day in my life without food.
Yesterday was weigh day and fat class. The vacation fall out wasn't as bad as anticipated but I gained 2 pounds. You would think by the reaction at "the clinic" that I had kicked a baby and lost my mind. What they didn't know is gaining only 2 pounds after a week long vacation is practically a record, I can usually pack on up to 10 lbs. in a week of fun and sun so I am completely happy with the results, it will come off, probably by today.
After being on the fast "sort of" for a week I am having a little trouble focusing on the plan but I am doing it because I have to not because I want to.
Yesterday was weigh day and fat class. The vacation fall out wasn't as bad as anticipated but I gained 2 pounds. You would think by the reaction at "the clinic" that I had kicked a baby and lost my mind. What they didn't know is gaining only 2 pounds after a week long vacation is practically a record, I can usually pack on up to 10 lbs. in a week of fun and sun so I am completely happy with the results, it will come off, probably by today.
After being on the fast "sort of" for a week I am having a little trouble focusing on the plan but I am doing it because I have to not because I want to.
Monday, June 7, 2010
MLWF Week 9
This is the beginning of the ninth week in my life without food.
OK, while I was somewhat under control on vacation last week I will get no awards for losing the most weight but I don't think I will be kicked out of the program either.
I found it easier and easier to slide as the week moved along but today I am 100% back on the program eating my porridge and drinking my shakes...yum yum.
I think I gained about 4 or 5 lbs. but it was worth it and it could have been much worse.
You know what they say, if you fall off a horse you are supposed to get right back on. I am back in the saddle again... I need a set of those blinders the put on horses and mules sometime, got to stay focused somehow.
Tomorrow is weigh day and fat class, should be interesting.
OK, while I was somewhat under control on vacation last week I will get no awards for losing the most weight but I don't think I will be kicked out of the program either.
I found it easier and easier to slide as the week moved along but today I am 100% back on the program eating my porridge and drinking my shakes...yum yum.
I think I gained about 4 or 5 lbs. but it was worth it and it could have been much worse.
You know what they say, if you fall off a horse you are supposed to get right back on. I am back in the saddle again... I need a set of those blinders the put on horses and mules sometime, got to stay focused somehow.
Tomorrow is weigh day and fat class, should be interesting.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)