This is the forty seventh day in my life without food.
OK, I'm on vacation and though I usually blow it out when traveling I am actually being mindful and aware of what I am doing food wise. Last night we had dinner with friends and yes I had my first martini in two months but guess what, I had one and then ordered a diet coke, wow, what has happened to me?
I am also, as I am sure you have guessed, eating a little food this week. No mindless eating, just a little nibble here and there. Palm Springs is a very social place and what I enjoy mostly about it. I also took 3 walks with the puppies today and not just a pee break but a real walk. I feel good about where I am and don't plan on throwing away the 47 days I've invested so far.
Tomorrow we are going to a BBQ and we have a couple of dinners scheduled this week with friends, it's going to be challenging but I am up for it.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
MLWF Day 44
This is the forty forth day in my life without food.
It's a cold rainy day, wouldn't a chili dog with cheese be good right now? See what happens when I let my mind wander...focus. No, I'll sit here in my cubicle and eat my porridge like a good boy. It's not easy being a good boy...all the time any way.
I am warning everyone now, I will be on vacation next week and I plan on having at least one martini! I haven't had one for almost two months and I want one. I'll be good though, I won't eat the olives.
As mentioned before, we are off to the desert next week and I find that my husband and I are much more active when we are there. It's warmer, we have a great area to walk around in, great workout room and very nice bicycles too, I am really not too worried about the vacation, I know I will keep moving.
I am now below my target vacation weight and I plan on keeping it that way or going even lower, imagine that, losing weight while on vacation.
The teacher in my fat class looked at me with glaring eyes when I told him I would not be there next week even inquiring "you aren't going off the fast next week ARE you?" Of course not I said (not like I would tell him any way).
It's a cold rainy day, wouldn't a chili dog with cheese be good right now? See what happens when I let my mind wander...focus. No, I'll sit here in my cubicle and eat my porridge like a good boy. It's not easy being a good boy...all the time any way.
I am warning everyone now, I will be on vacation next week and I plan on having at least one martini! I haven't had one for almost two months and I want one. I'll be good though, I won't eat the olives.
As mentioned before, we are off to the desert next week and I find that my husband and I are much more active when we are there. It's warmer, we have a great area to walk around in, great workout room and very nice bicycles too, I am really not too worried about the vacation, I know I will keep moving.
I am now below my target vacation weight and I plan on keeping it that way or going even lower, imagine that, losing weight while on vacation.
The teacher in my fat class looked at me with glaring eyes when I told him I would not be there next week even inquiring "you aren't going off the fast next week ARE you?" Of course not I said (not like I would tell him any way).
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
MLWF Week 6
This is the sixth week in my life without food.
Yesterday was weigh day followed by fat class. The scale was kind once again reporting a loss of 4.6 lbs for a grand total in six weeks of 40.5. That's a relief, I hit my goal for vacation fours days ahead of schedule. Now I can work on a cushion "just in case", it is vacation and we are going to the desert.
Last night in fat class we talked about triggers. No not the horse or the bar in the Castro but the kind that make you feel like everything will be better if you eat. For me I really don't need a reason, I eat if I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, awake, what can I say I like food. It's all about paying attention to what you put in your mouth and not setting yourself up for failure. You know, like that giant single serving size bag of chips in your pantry or the gallon of Rocky Road in the freezer, don't do it!
Thinking ahead to vacation next week I plan on keeping very active. Up early taking the puppies on long walks, working out in the gym, riding bikes. More physical exercising and less drinking exercising. While lifting a glass to my mouth may seem like a good idea it usually just leads to bad things. I guess we shall see! Stay tuned...
Yesterday was weigh day followed by fat class. The scale was kind once again reporting a loss of 4.6 lbs for a grand total in six weeks of 40.5. That's a relief, I hit my goal for vacation fours days ahead of schedule. Now I can work on a cushion "just in case", it is vacation and we are going to the desert.
Last night in fat class we talked about triggers. No not the horse or the bar in the Castro but the kind that make you feel like everything will be better if you eat. For me I really don't need a reason, I eat if I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, awake, what can I say I like food. It's all about paying attention to what you put in your mouth and not setting yourself up for failure. You know, like that giant single serving size bag of chips in your pantry or the gallon of Rocky Road in the freezer, don't do it!
Thinking ahead to vacation next week I plan on keeping very active. Up early taking the puppies on long walks, working out in the gym, riding bikes. More physical exercising and less drinking exercising. While lifting a glass to my mouth may seem like a good idea it usually just leads to bad things. I guess we shall see! Stay tuned...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
MLWF Day 40
This is the fortieth day in my life without food.
The weekends are still the hardest. No matter how busy I keep myself it's so easy to fall off the plan. When I do, because as I told you earlier I am no saint, I just stay focused and pick up where I left off. It is what is it.
One week until our vacation and I had set a personal goal to drop 40 lbs before we leave. As of this morning our scale said I was at 38 pounds down, that could completely change but tomorrow morning but it made me feel good. I just want to be able to get into some of my cute little summer shirts for our visit to the desert, I think I'll make it.
I can't believe it's almost weigh day again. The weeks are flying by and I am finding the "project" a little easier every week. I am getting bored drinking/eating the same thing every day but it's the price I have to pay for years of play play play.
The weekends are still the hardest. No matter how busy I keep myself it's so easy to fall off the plan. When I do, because as I told you earlier I am no saint, I just stay focused and pick up where I left off. It is what is it.
One week until our vacation and I had set a personal goal to drop 40 lbs before we leave. As of this morning our scale said I was at 38 pounds down, that could completely change but tomorrow morning but it made me feel good. I just want to be able to get into some of my cute little summer shirts for our visit to the desert, I think I'll make it.
I can't believe it's almost weigh day again. The weeks are flying by and I am finding the "project" a little easier every week. I am getting bored drinking/eating the same thing every day but it's the price I have to pay for years of play play play.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
MLWF Day 36
This is the thirty sixth day in my life without food.
The scale said down 3.6 this week. That's a total of 35.9 in 5 weeks. I am happy happy happy, down is always better than up I say.
Last night in fat class we discussed food triggers. You know, like smelling popcorn in the movie theater, fresh baked anything while walking through Willams Sonoma and of course anything and I do mean anything on a BBQ grill.
My fat class teacher referenced H A L T last night which is used in many 12 step program when talking about triggers --
H - Hungry, like I need to be hungry to eat. The point being that if you eat all of your meals and don't skip you will tend not to overeat at any particular seating.
A - Angry, because we all have a tendency to bury things and it's going to come out somewhere, why not in a bag of chips?
L - Lonely, though obvious this one usually manifests itself in me as boredom, nothing to do or no one to talk to, let's eat!
T - Tired, long day at the office, puppies barking their heads off, cranky pants eats the wrong thing...again. Having your meals planned is the key.
None of these things is new to me, however, keeping them top of mind isn't always what I do which is why I go into a walking food coma and gain weight. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to think all...mindless eating can be fun but usually results in a wardrobe of Mumus.
The scale said down 3.6 this week. That's a total of 35.9 in 5 weeks. I am happy happy happy, down is always better than up I say.
Last night in fat class we discussed food triggers. You know, like smelling popcorn in the movie theater, fresh baked anything while walking through Willams Sonoma and of course anything and I do mean anything on a BBQ grill.
My fat class teacher referenced H A L T last night which is used in many 12 step program when talking about triggers --
H - Hungry, like I need to be hungry to eat. The point being that if you eat all of your meals and don't skip you will tend not to overeat at any particular seating.
A - Angry, because we all have a tendency to bury things and it's going to come out somewhere, why not in a bag of chips?
L - Lonely, though obvious this one usually manifests itself in me as boredom, nothing to do or no one to talk to, let's eat!
T - Tired, long day at the office, puppies barking their heads off, cranky pants eats the wrong thing...again. Having your meals planned is the key.
None of these things is new to me, however, keeping them top of mind isn't always what I do which is why I go into a walking food coma and gain weight. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to think all...mindless eating can be fun but usually results in a wardrobe of Mumus.
Monday, May 17, 2010
MLWF Day 34
This is the thirty fourth day in my life without food.
With the road trip behind me, I am now focused on the routine of not eating. I did pretty well on the road and even worked out both days. I figured, the hotel is new and has a nice workout facility so it wouldn't kill me to get up early and exercise. I am here to tell you I am not dead.
I miss variety. I used to say that I got tired of cooking the same old meals week in and week out but I would love to have that problem now. Eating pretty much the same thing everyday is getting a little old and I don't care how much hot sauce you use it is what it is...porridge. I am sure I'll get over it when I step up on that scale tomorrow.
Yes tomorrow is weigh day. I don't think I've lost as much as last week but I guess I can't lose 7 lbs every week. I wish I could, the project would be completed in record time if I could...mean while, back in reality I will be happy if I lost anything at all.
With the road trip behind me, I am now focused on the routine of not eating. I did pretty well on the road and even worked out both days. I figured, the hotel is new and has a nice workout facility so it wouldn't kill me to get up early and exercise. I am here to tell you I am not dead.
I miss variety. I used to say that I got tired of cooking the same old meals week in and week out but I would love to have that problem now. Eating pretty much the same thing everyday is getting a little old and I don't care how much hot sauce you use it is what it is...porridge. I am sure I'll get over it when I step up on that scale tomorrow.
Yes tomorrow is weigh day. I don't think I've lost as much as last week but I guess I can't lose 7 lbs every week. I wish I could, the project would be completed in record time if I could...mean while, back in reality I will be happy if I lost anything at all.
Friday, May 14, 2010
MLWF Day 31
This is the thirty first day in my life without food.
I am on my first road trip since I started "the project" and it's been interesting challenging already. One of the first things I like to do on a road trip is when you stop for gas the first time pick up "road food" that of course have no calories and no one sees you eat, except for my husband of course. No Fritos, no Cheetos, no Starbucks breakfast sandwich, no Snickers and no burger or fries. I think I've decided that road trips can only be one tank trips so I don't have to stop for gas and therefore no temptations. That's real isn't it?
Let me tell you that Reno has food available 24 hours a day. Fast food outlets have a major presence in this town as do plenty of medium to good restaurants and of course the $7.99 buffets that I didn't frequent even before, something about a T Bone steak for $7.99 just sounds yucky. Don't have to worry about that now, I have everything I need that I carry in a little black cooler, yum yum, protein drinks and porridge.
I brought my workout clothes and got up early to use the hotel's exercise equipment, it's always been there (I stay in this hotel often) I just chose to ignore it up to now. It's amazing how many things I ignored up to now.
I am here to help my brother celebrate graduation from a Masters program, I plan on celebrating all within reason, shh, don't tell anybody.
I am on my first road trip since I started "the project" and it's been interesting challenging already. One of the first things I like to do on a road trip is when you stop for gas the first time pick up "road food" that of course have no calories and no one sees you eat, except for my husband of course. No Fritos, no Cheetos, no Starbucks breakfast sandwich, no Snickers and no burger or fries. I think I've decided that road trips can only be one tank trips so I don't have to stop for gas and therefore no temptations. That's real isn't it?
Let me tell you that Reno has food available 24 hours a day. Fast food outlets have a major presence in this town as do plenty of medium to good restaurants and of course the $7.99 buffets that I didn't frequent even before, something about a T Bone steak for $7.99 just sounds yucky. Don't have to worry about that now, I have everything I need that I carry in a little black cooler, yum yum, protein drinks and porridge.
I brought my workout clothes and got up early to use the hotel's exercise equipment, it's always been there (I stay in this hotel often) I just chose to ignore it up to now. It's amazing how many things I ignored up to now.
I am here to help my brother celebrate graduation from a Masters program, I plan on celebrating all within reason, shh, don't tell anybody.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
MLWF Day 29
This is the twenty ninth day in my life without food.
It's all about the numbers and mine were all good. 7.4 lbs this week for a total of 32.3 so far. More importantly my "other" numbers are even better. Blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol...all those things doctors like to watch especially when you are over 50 are all good. This not eating really does work.
At this rate I could be Twiggy size in a couple of months. It's going to be hard though, I do love a good summer BBQ. I may have to squeeze at least one in, shhh!
I am having a hungry day and I swear every desk I walk by in my office has food on it. It could all be in my head but damn it looks good. I'd slap somebody for a bag of popcorn and a cola...sounds good now but me with no floss and can't afford the calories so I guess everyone is safe. For now!
It's all about the numbers and mine were all good. 7.4 lbs this week for a total of 32.3 so far. More importantly my "other" numbers are even better. Blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol...all those things doctors like to watch especially when you are over 50 are all good. This not eating really does work.
At this rate I could be Twiggy size in a couple of months. It's going to be hard though, I do love a good summer BBQ. I may have to squeeze at least one in, shhh!
I am having a hungry day and I swear every desk I walk by in my office has food on it. It could all be in my head but damn it looks good. I'd slap somebody for a bag of popcorn and a cola...sounds good now but me with no floss and can't afford the calories so I guess everyone is safe. For now!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
MLWF Day 28
It the twenty eighth day in my life without food.
I love people's expressions when I tell them I've been fasting for four weeks. After they pick their jaws up off the floor they always ask lots of questions...what the, who the, how the...and the answers are always the same, it's for me, it's something I have to do and yes I eat, sort of.
People who don't have a severe weight problem don't really understand what it's like. Everyone has been so kind and worried about me but for someone who thinks about food every waking moment this sucks. It's not a bad thing, it just sucks. I know I have said this before but I miss cooking and even eating some of the time. But I will get through this just as planned and will be happier in the long run.
It's weigh day. If I could go in naked I would but I don't want people running and screaming from the clinic. I hope I've lost this week, I am feeling kind of huge today...and it's not even my time of the month.
I love people's expressions when I tell them I've been fasting for four weeks. After they pick their jaws up off the floor they always ask lots of questions...what the, who the, how the...and the answers are always the same, it's for me, it's something I have to do and yes I eat, sort of.
People who don't have a severe weight problem don't really understand what it's like. Everyone has been so kind and worried about me but for someone who thinks about food every waking moment this sucks. It's not a bad thing, it just sucks. I know I have said this before but I miss cooking and even eating some of the time. But I will get through this just as planned and will be happier in the long run.
It's weigh day. If I could go in naked I would but I don't want people running and screaming from the clinic. I hope I've lost this week, I am feeling kind of huge today...and it's not even my time of the month.
Monday, May 10, 2010
MLWF Day 27
This is the twenty seventh day in my life without food.
Wow what a weekend. My forearms are all bruised from the household purge which kept me very busy all weekend. I didn't have time to eat except for the planned substances.
My big cheat this weekend was having a couple of cocktails Saturday night and I was so hungover and sick on Sunday it hardly seemed worth it. Betty White was on SNL so I was in a party mood but not drinking for a few weeks seems to have made a big difference in how I can or can't drink the hard stuff...won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Feeling really focused today on the plan. Tomorrow is scale day and it's always amazing how focused I am the day before I get weighed. We shall see...
People always ask me how long I am going to be on this fast, how the heck should I know, I have a VERY long way to go is all I know. I am doing the best I can but anything I am doing (or not doing) is better than what it took to get me where I am today. Damn it!
Wow what a weekend. My forearms are all bruised from the household purge which kept me very busy all weekend. I didn't have time to eat except for the planned substances.
My big cheat this weekend was having a couple of cocktails Saturday night and I was so hungover and sick on Sunday it hardly seemed worth it. Betty White was on SNL so I was in a party mood but not drinking for a few weeks seems to have made a big difference in how I can or can't drink the hard stuff...won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Feeling really focused today on the plan. Tomorrow is scale day and it's always amazing how focused I am the day before I get weighed. We shall see...
People always ask me how long I am going to be on this fast, how the heck should I know, I have a VERY long way to go is all I know. I am doing the best I can but anything I am doing (or not doing) is better than what it took to get me where I am today. Damn it!
Friday, May 7, 2010
MLWF Day 24
This is the twenty fourth day in my life without food.
Yesterday was tough. First of all it was the longest day in the history of man and secondly I attended a community reception at my office in honor of Asian Heritage Month and of course they had every type of Asian food imaginable (most all of my faves) and wine too. I stood there with my little glass of cucumber water talking to clients and smiling while they ate a mountain of food off of their little cocktail plates. Not fun for me so I left.
The new porridge actually tastes pretty good. Scary enough it's called Nacho Cheese Pasta and while I am not sure where the soy ends and the pasta begins it reminds of when I was a kid and my grandmother made us chili-mac. Yes, most of my pleasant memories involve food, a shock I am sure.
The weekend is upon us and I plan on keeping really busy. We are in major purge mode so there is lots to do. Personally I plan on purging some pounds...but not using the binge and purge method (not this time anyway).
Yesterday was tough. First of all it was the longest day in the history of man and secondly I attended a community reception at my office in honor of Asian Heritage Month and of course they had every type of Asian food imaginable (most all of my faves) and wine too. I stood there with my little glass of cucumber water talking to clients and smiling while they ate a mountain of food off of their little cocktail plates. Not fun for me so I left.
The new porridge actually tastes pretty good. Scary enough it's called Nacho Cheese Pasta and while I am not sure where the soy ends and the pasta begins it reminds of when I was a kid and my grandmother made us chili-mac. Yes, most of my pleasant memories involve food, a shock I am sure.
The weekend is upon us and I plan on keeping really busy. We are in major purge mode so there is lots to do. Personally I plan on purging some pounds...but not using the binge and purge method (not this time anyway).
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
MLWF Day 22
This is the twenty second day in my life without food.
What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours... I am feeling much better today and thanks to all who sent words of encouragement and support. Some days good some days bad but still always a little hungry.
4 was the magic number this week which means (for those of you keeping score) I am down 23 pounds in 3 weeks.
Here is the funny thing, in our first class they told us that people lose an average of 4-5 pounds a week on the fast and all I care about is beating the average. I am such a numbers guy and my career has taught me to be extremely competitive so if I can beat the average I win, silly but it keeps me going...at least for now. I am losing almost 8 pounds a week so far...must keep it up!!!
Speaking of numbers, in fat people class last night they gave us a formula that you can use on a weekly basis to determine how much weight you will lose in a week. It's all about calories in and out through activity but I feel a spreadsheet coming on. Great, something else to obsess about.
Day one week four, one day at a time.
What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours... I am feeling much better today and thanks to all who sent words of encouragement and support. Some days good some days bad but still always a little hungry.
4 was the magic number this week which means (for those of you keeping score) I am down 23 pounds in 3 weeks.
Here is the funny thing, in our first class they told us that people lose an average of 4-5 pounds a week on the fast and all I care about is beating the average. I am such a numbers guy and my career has taught me to be extremely competitive so if I can beat the average I win, silly but it keeps me going...at least for now. I am losing almost 8 pounds a week so far...must keep it up!!!
Speaking of numbers, in fat people class last night they gave us a formula that you can use on a weekly basis to determine how much weight you will lose in a week. It's all about calories in and out through activity but I feel a spreadsheet coming on. Great, something else to obsess about.
Day one week four, one day at a time.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
MLWF Day 21
This is the twenty first day of my life without food.
I AM HUNGRY! Someone in my office sent out an email today regarding online "etiquette" saying that typing all in caps signifies yelling, duh. I AM HUNGRY damn it, get it?
Just finished my third week and by far it has been the hardest. I am bored with the supplements, tired of not eating, tired of missing a glass of wine when I want it...it's hard changing everything about everything you love.
I used to say going home at night and cooking dinner relaxed me from the stresses of the day, now what? Yes I know exercise is the answer and I should get another hobby but I think I am mourning the loss of something. I have to say I am feeling a little pissed off this week. I'll get over it but truth be told, fuck this!
Today is scale day followed by fat people class. I just love Tuesdays!
I AM HUNGRY! Someone in my office sent out an email today regarding online "etiquette" saying that typing all in caps signifies yelling, duh. I AM HUNGRY damn it, get it?
Just finished my third week and by far it has been the hardest. I am bored with the supplements, tired of not eating, tired of missing a glass of wine when I want it...it's hard changing everything about everything you love.
I used to say going home at night and cooking dinner relaxed me from the stresses of the day, now what? Yes I know exercise is the answer and I should get another hobby but I think I am mourning the loss of something. I have to say I am feeling a little pissed off this week. I'll get over it but truth be told, fuck this!
Today is scale day followed by fat people class. I just love Tuesdays!
Monday, May 3, 2010
MLWF Day 20
This is the twentieth day in my life without food.
I am not going to lie to you, the 3 day weekend was rough. But I did indeed keep myself pretty darn busy which helped but I wanted to sin and I mean sin big time.
Went to the gym on Saturday and met with the personal trainer and he tried to kill us. His warm up exercises were more exercises than I have done it 25 years. He had us skipping, yes skipping. If I weren't so determined to get this weight off I would have told him where he could stick those skip-to-my-lous, and I might still.
Tomorrow I face the scale again, these weeks really fly by. Not eating has it's perks, our grocery bill has dropped quite a bit. I still feel bad for my husband but he seems to be managing just fine.
Wish me luck tomorrow, I feel like I am going to need it this week.
I am not going to lie to you, the 3 day weekend was rough. But I did indeed keep myself pretty darn busy which helped but I wanted to sin and I mean sin big time.
Went to the gym on Saturday and met with the personal trainer and he tried to kill us. His warm up exercises were more exercises than I have done it 25 years. He had us skipping, yes skipping. If I weren't so determined to get this weight off I would have told him where he could stick those skip-to-my-lous, and I might still.
Tomorrow I face the scale again, these weeks really fly by. Not eating has it's perks, our grocery bill has dropped quite a bit. I still feel bad for my husband but he seems to be managing just fine.
Wish me luck tomorrow, I feel like I am going to need it this week.
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